


Romance on the Gridiron: Just A Little

by Kitty_KatAllie



Category: Eyeshield 21
Genre: Complete, F/M, Fluff and Angst, Love Triangles, Smut
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2012-06-09
Updated: 2012-06-09
Packaged: 2017-11-07 08:52:40
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 7
Words: 38,984
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/429173
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Kitty_KatAllie/pseuds/Kitty_KatAllie
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Hiru/Mamo It's been more than two years since she first met the Commander from Hell, and still she stands beside him- like always. But when a real Knight enters the picture, will she stop waiting? What does HE want?</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Forget A Little

Just a Little

Chapter One

Forget A Little

  
_He was lying on the small cot, the wet handkerchief over his eyes and brow- a ridiculously small measure to fight the fever. He refused to leave the stadium to go to hospital. The medics had already left the young man to watch the field with instructions to Mamori to find them if there was any change to his condition. Together, they sat in almost complete silence, interrupted only by the muffled sounds of her sobs and the words she managed to force past her clogged throat to encourage the indomitable devil before her. Her blue eyes were locked on his strained face.  
  
"Fucking manager. Stop sniffling and get this damn cloth off my fucking face." Hiruma growled, his voice as strained as his face.  
  
She wiped her eyes, smiling shakily. She drew away the cloth and set it neatly on the small table next to the cot. "Someone has to cry. S-since… you c-can't, I'll do it for you." Mamori whispered as she reached over to push soggy bangs away from his face. Those dark eyes met hers.  
  
"Tch. You look fucking ugly crying." Hiruma informed her caustically. She shrugged. "Fucking fatty and the shrimp… are they doing it? Is it working?"  
  
Mamori frowned softly in thought. "They're keeping their own, but they aren't managing to get ahead. I don't know… I don't know if they can do it without you." She replied honestly, if reluctantly.  
  
"Damn it." He closed his eyes, his brows low. She could see it written on his face- 'what can I do? I have to do something. Those fucking idiots can't do anything right without me.'  
  
Mamori fought back a smile as she read him._ How strange to think that I can read him so well right now. It's usually so hard. He must be in immense pain… _Her smile faded. "They'll do it, Hiruma-kun. Believe in them. Please… please, Hiruma-kun, get some rest." Mamori pleaded._  
  
 _He ignored her. Or maybe he was asleep? His face wasn't relaxed, but he could still be feeling pain in his sleep. A feeling was welling up in her, from her chest, up into her throat, into her mouth, stuck on her tongue, and trembling on her lips. She was moving towards him, eyes locked on his face as her breath caught in her throat- trapped by the feelings struggling into unspoken words.  
_  
Hiruma-kun…  
  
 _She brushed her lips against his cheek, just by his mouth, a blush on her cheeks and tears still wet on her face. Her body jerked, eyes widening, when his face shifted and their lips met.  
  
His lips were softer, smoother than she expected. Her body shuddered with the contact. Eyes drooped closed and her hair fell to curtain their faces- blocking out the world, the pain, and brushing over his skin. Her heart stuttered to a stop as her mind spun, lost as everything tipped. Their kiss tasted like sweat and blood and tears- salty, heady, and addictive._  
  
Do I… love him? _The words jumped into her head and she pulled away, a gasp torn from her. Her hands came up and fingertips pressed against her lips._ I c-can't! N-no! N-Not H-Hiruma!  
  
 _A movement from the cot caught her eye. She re-focused on him and forgot everything as he struggled to sit up.  
  
"N-No! Hiruma-kun, don't!"  
  
"Shut the fuck up and get the damn tape," he ordered harshly. She grabbed the bandaging tape, anger making the earlier feelings burn away.  
  
"What are you thinking?" Mamori demanded as she sat in front of him._  
  
 _"Just tape it up." He snapped. She looked up. Their eyes met and a blush bloomed on her face again. His eyes… looked familiar. His eyes reminded her of… of when he stood on the field against the Bando Spiders, waiting for Musashi. Was he waiting… for something… from her? Then, the look disappeared. "Tape it up, fucking manager."_  
  
Mamori sighed as she walked towards Deimon High three years later. The Rice Bowl had just ended and snow was just beginning to fall. Her breath puffed out in front of her, warming her face as it feathered over her skin, trapped by her thick, red muffler.  
  
 _He acts like it never happened. I should just forget it already! He hasn't changed at all these past couple years. I don't even know how I really feel about him. It could've just been the nerves, the worry, that made me kiss him then. Whatever it was, it didn't mean anything to him._  
  
She sighed again and shifted the immensely huge bag full of cake boxes. In her mind, she remembered the time he actually used her name- that first day Sena came back home for the game against the Cupids almost a year ago. She shook her head and glared at nothing in particular.  
  
"If it didn't matter to him, then it didn't matter to me." She whispered fiercely, ignoring that tug somewhere near her heart. "IT DIDN'T MATTER!" She yelled aloud. Several passersby jumped and stared at her- then hurried past.  
  
Feeling just slightly better, she nodded to herself, readjusted the huge bag again, and strode forward.  
  
"Hey, don't I know you, cutie?" a voice to her right drawled. She turned in confusion.  
  
"Excuse me?" In front of her stood a ridiculously tall, muscled frame and a very leering smirk was on the man's face. She had no idea who this man was, but he was a weight-lifter or something with a body like that. She frowned.  
  
"You can call me Kontou."  
  
Mamori took a step back as he sauntered closer. The strength of his words, the way she felt his eyes caressing her- her back went up like a cat's. He was lewd and disgusting and anger began to fill her. She straightened her shoulders.  
  
"Nice to meet you, but I'm on my way to meet some friends. They're all waiting for their cakes." She shifted the bag up a bit to show him the name of the bakery printed on the side. "We're having a little New Year's party. So, I better go. Ja ne." She turned on her heel and moved to walk away.  
  
"Not so fast. Why don't I join you?" Kontou's long legs ate up the little distance between them. A vein pulsed in Mamori's forehead as he smoothly tried to invite himself to their party, but wasn't gentleman enough to offer to carry the bag almost as big as she was (Kurita was going to be there, after all).  
  
"It's the team-members-only party," Mamori told him tartly.  
  
"That does cause just a bit of a problem, but I'm sure they wouldn't mind it if you brought a date." Kontou was starting to get aggravated the longer she held him off.  
  
"If I needed a date, I'm sure they wouldn't mind a bit. But seeing as I don't, there's still a problem with you joining us. Excuse me, I'm in a hurry, Kontou-san." Mamori kept her eyes in front of her and quickened her pace. _Where the hell is Hiruma-kun and his damn guns when you need them?  
_  
She gasped as a large hand caught her wrist and pulled her up short. The handle of the bag tore and boxes fell on the slick sidewalk around her feet. Anger coursed through her seeing the boxes of cream puffs lying so undignified on the pavement.  
  
"Unhand me at once!" Mamori snarled, glaring up into Kontou's equally pissed face. Her eyes glinted dangerously- highly reminiscent of Hiruma. "If my cream puffs are harmed, you're paying for more!"  
  
Across the street, yet another familiar figure paused. Dark eyes under a heavy fringe of dark bangs looked over Kontou's heavily muscled build, dismissed him indifferently, and then ran over the much smaller figure. Dark eyes widened. For such a small frame, strength was radiating in a huge aura. Obviously, that small body couldn't overwhelm Kontou's much sturdier frame, but the girl (ah, of course, that's why the figure was so small) was standing toe-to-toe with him. The girl reminded him of Sena so strongly that it was a quick second before he managed to recognize the girl herself.  
  
 _Hiruma's manager? Why is she with that man? It looks like they're arguing. His hand is on her in an unfriendly manner._  
  
The onlooker- obviously now identified as Shin, Seijuuro- frowned. Remembering a recent conversation with Sakuraba and Wakana about how to act around girls, he realized he should probably do something about this. That same conversation had used this situation as an example, so he quickly acted. He strode across the street, his body a blur in his rush. Other walkers (and a bicycle rider or two) gasped and barely managed to keep their balance as he rushed by.  
  
Mamori's eyes widened as, suddenly, Shin was behind Kontou and his hand on Kontou's shoulder.  
  
"Let her go," Shin ordered in his monotone voice. Kontou tried to pull away- and failed. He glared at Shin, sweat forming on his temples.  
  
"Where the hell did you come from?" Kontou demanded, livid.  
  
"Across the street." He looked down at the gaping Mamori. "Are you hurt?"  
  
"N-No. I'm fine." She quickly bent down to grab her boxes. Shin released Kontou and joined her with a soft grunt. Kontou gritted his teeth as the two completely ignored him.  
  
"The lady and I were talking. You fucking interrupted, man." Kontou reached forward to grab Shin's arm. Shin jerked away and was suddenly on his feet, staring Kontou down.  
  
"I was under the impression you were accosting her," Shin retorted. Mamori gaped up at them in amazement again.  
  
"What does it matter to you? It's not like she's your fucking girlfriend. You're just some guy from across the street!"  
  
Shin eyes widened. _Girlfriend. Right, in this situation, Sakuraba said to say-_  
  
"Yes, she is." Shin said simply. He really didn't know what girlfriend meant, but Sakuraba would've said it, so he did. Kontou's jaw dropped. Behind Shin, Mamori's did, too. But, being the clever young woman she was, she jumped up with a huge smile on her face.  
  
"For you information, I do know this man. We were supposed to meet at the party, but you must've come to find me." She poked Shin's arm playfully. "Thank you, Shin-kun." She smiled up at him, glowing. An aura of "you're my knight-in-shining-armor" shined around her. She wrapped her arms around Shin's muscled arm.  
  
"Feh. You could've fucking said that, bitch." Kontou spat to the side.  
  
Shin, who had been staring down at the glowing Mamori in confusion, turned with dark eyes glaring heatedly at Kontou. "You will have a more respectful tone when you speak to her."  
  
Mamori's world tilted as the fake glow left her. _He's… he's so sweet!_ she thought in wonder. The glow returned, but was softer and more real. _He's a real knight._  
  
Kontou glared between them. With a shrug, he turned. "Whatever. This is fucking boring." He strutted away.  
  
Mamori pulled away from Shin. He turned to look down at her and blinked. She was smiling softly up at him. He had never seen a smile like that before.  
  
"Th-thank you. I never would have expected you t-to come to my rescue," Mamori stammered. She blushed. "N-Not that you're like _him_. I just didn't think you'd notice something like that. Or… tell him something like that." She quickly dropped to her knees and scrabbled for the boxes. "I h-have to go."  
  
Shin squatted down next to her and helped her stuff the boxes in the torn bag, making her blush more. He plucked the huge bag from her hands and held it in his arms, managing to keep all the boxes from falling out. "I'll help you to your party." He paused, then frowned. "What's your name?" Mamori blinked before bursting into laughter.  
  
"Anezaki, Mamori. Nice to meet you, Shin-san." Shin's face softened slightly, not quite a smile, but close.  
  
"Nice to meet you, Anezaki-san." He frowned again as they started forward, Mamori slightly in the front to lead him. "Why are you alone when you have so much to carry? There are many others on your team that could have helped you and also prevented that situation before," Shin asked, puzzled.  
  
Mamori looked up at him, just as puzzled. "Because I can handle it, so I didn't ask. You did help me, but I could've handled it." The aura of strength and anger returned as Shin stared down at her. "That jerk- if he ruined my cream puffs, he'll pay!" Eyes glinted as she made tight fists.  
  
"Cream puffs? Are they expensive?" Shin inquired.  
  
"Oh!" Mamori blushed bright red- which intrigued Shin. He'd never seen a person's face turn that red without physical exertion involved. "N-Not really, but they're my favorite," She muttered shame-faced.  
  
"I've never had one."  
  
"NEVER?" Mamori exclaimed in horror. She brightened. "You can have one as a thank you. In fact, why don't you come to the party as my date, since we told that jerk you were."  
  
"Date?" Shin frowned- another word that confused him, though Sakuraba had said he needed one. "I'm supposed to go to a karaoke club with the Knights."  
  
"You don't have to come! I just thought, since you were walking there with me anyway, you could stay a while, but I understand if you want to be with your friends." Mamori's face turned cherry-red again. Shin decided karaoke wouldn't be as interesting as spending time with this girl. He'd never noticed girls before. Were they all like this one?  
  
"We're here." Mamori announced. Shin looked up to see the ostentatious sign and clubroom on Deimon High's schoolgrounds.  
  
"Hn." _Why are we at this high school? We are all college students.  
_  
"I'll go first and introduce you." She giggled behind her hand. Another new thing for Shin- he'd never noticed giggles before. There must be a word to describe it, but he couldn't think of it (in other words, he didn't know the word "cute").  
  
She threw open the door, but managed to block him from sight.  
  
/Former DevilBats' POV/  
  
Mamori strode in the door just as the group was talking about going out to find her.  
  
"Sorry I'm late!" She sang out.  
  
"Mamo-neechan! We were so worried!" Suzuna cried out.  
  
"I should've come with you. It must've been too much to... where are the... the stuff?" Seno, the third-year manager- almost graduated now- with huge, round glasses stuttered to a halt and frowned at Mamori's empty hands. She was the only one in on the surprise.  
  
From the other side of the room, Hiruma looked up and Mamori met his gaze. She forgot everything as his eyes looked into hers. _He was worried, too._ The flash of insight surprised her so much she almost didn't hear Sena.  
  
"What took you so long, Mamori-neechan? Did something happen?" Sena asked, getting to his feet from the chair he was sitting in.  
  
"Well, I went to get everyone a surprise and on my way here I ran into Kontou. Uh, I mean this random stranger who called himself that." She frowned. "That jerk tried come on to me and wouldn't take no for an answer. And then dropped the cream puffs all over the pavement!"  
  
 _That was our surprise? Cream puffs?_ The team couldn't help but sweatdrop as Seno gasped. Hiruma's gum bubble snapped.  
  
"Anyway! Who should appear but a knight-in-shining-armor and my brand-spanking new boyfriend! And he's here as my date." She pushed open the door the rest of the way to reveal Shin carrying an armful of pastry boxes and wearing a blank look on his face.  
  
The team stared at him, mouths gaping, eyes blank. Hiruma's eyes were wide and his perpetual chewing paused.  
  
"Konnichi wa." Shin broke the silence without showing any emotion on his face as Mamori shook with suppressed laughter beside him.  
  
"Huh?"  
  
"HUH?"  
  
"HUUUHH?"  
  
"WHEN DID THIS HAPPEN?" Suzuna screeched in excitement.  
  
Mamori burst into laughter. She reached out without thinking and grasped Shin's sweater to hold herself up. He looked down at her, watching her inscrutably. She looked up at him and then blushed cherry-red.  
  
"Here, you can put them here, Shin-san. I'm sorry I forgot you were holding them."  
  
"They aren't heavy."  
  
Seno darted forward to help set the boxes down neatly as Sena was stared wide-eyed between Mamori and Shin. Everyone else started talking at once. As Mamori tried to calm everyone down, Sena caught sight of Musashi, who was staring at… Hiruma? Musashi looked kind of worried and Hiruma was still staring at Mamori in shock. _I could've sworn when they graduated they were dating? Is there something going on here I don't understand? I don't understand what's going on at all since Mamori introduced Shin as her boyfriend._  
  
"I'm just joking!" Mamori managed to shout over the noise, finally looking annoyed. "Shin-san said he was my boyfriend to make that guy leave me alone! I invited him here as my date to thank him. But he's not staying." Mamori turned to Shin as everyone "ooooh'ed". "Do you need to call your friends?"  
  
"Yes… I had gotten lost when I saw you across the street. I meant to call them, but my phone doesn't work properly." Shin pulled out an utterly crushed cellphone. Everyone else paled and turned slightly blue. _Doesn't work? He broke it!  
_  
"Oh! Um, here." Mamori pulled out her own, glanced at his, sweatdropped, and flipped it open herself. "Do you know a number I can call?"  
  
"Yes. Sakuraba's number is PJ-XXXXXXX." Shin told her. No one noticed Hiruma- who had quickly gathered his wits- type the number into his own phone with an evil grin.  
  
Mamori waited a few moments before the other line picked up. "Hello, Sakuraba-san? This is Anezaki. Please, don't hang up. I'm not another stalker. Yes, that's right. I am the manager at Saikyoudai. Takami has an amazing memory." A few of the others sweatdropped at this. "Yes, well, I'm calling for Shin. His phone… um… broke. Yes, that's what I think happened, too." She giggled. "It's kinda cute. Anyway. He's here at the Deimon because he helped me out. Could you tell me where you're at so I can lead him there?"  
  
Pause.  
  
She looked up at Shin. "They said you should stay here and enjoy yourself if you want to. They're also saying you should remember that conversation you had with them two days ago."  
  
Shin nodded silently. "I don't mind staying if no one protests. You can tell Sakuraba I found a date."  
  
"EH?" Everyone cried as Mamori blushed and pulled the phone away from her ear.  
  
"WAY TO GO, SHIN!"The Oujou Knights yelled from the other line. "Yeah, she's really cute, Shin. Treat him well, Anezaki-chan." Sakuraba's voice said before the line died.  
  
"I thought it was just a JOKE?" Monta cried in astonishment.  
  
"Does your offer still stand, Anezaki?" Shin looked down at Mamori, who nodded, blushing heavily.  
  
"I d-don't understand…" Sena stuttered, eyes wheeling.  
  
"A couple days ago, my team told me I should get a girlfriend. They gave me this manga to read." From nowhere, Shin pulled out a manga, flipped open the book, and showed them a page. The scene drawn was of these too-pretty characters, the girl being held by some guy, and another guy coming up saying 'she's my girlfriend, let her go' and the girl thinking, 'but that's the most popular guy from my school! Oh my gosh!' "When I saw Mamori in the same situation, I decided to use what I learned." Shin explained bluntly.  
  
 _The Oujou Knights made Shin read a shoujo manga? TO LEARN?_ Everyone thought in unison as Hiruma burst into laughter in the back of the room.  
  
"Since the opportunity presented itself, I decided to take my teammates' advice and have a date with Anezaki." He frowned. "What exactly is a date?"  
  
Everyone deadpanned as Shin looked blankly back at them.  
  
"For that matter, what makes a girlfriend different from a manager?"  
  
Suzuna blinked. Mamori and Suzuna made eye contact and both helplessly burst into laughter. Seno flapped her hands them, a smile twitching the corner of mouth, trying to get them to stop.  
  
"In this group, I dunno if there is a difference," Juumonji muttered under his breath, his light eyes on Seno- who was currently his girlfriend and team manager.  
  
Sena hurried towards Shin and pulled away the confused football player. "Let's go ahead and start the party. We'll talk about girlfriends and dates later." Sena told Shin, taking pity on him.  
  
As Mamori, Suzuna, and Sena made Shin feel welcome the rest of the group pulled out a karaoke machine and videogame consoles. After a while, Mamori handed cakes out to everyone. She came up to Hiruma, who was still sitting in his corner, typing away.  
  
"Why don't you join the party, Hiruma-kun? This was your idea. If it wasn't for you, I doubt the principal would've let us use this old room anyway," Mamori reminded him, handing over an unopened pack of sugarless gum instead of a cake. She looked around and smiled. "Doesn't it bring back memories?"  
  
"Whatever, fucking manager." Hiruma shrugged. "I don't want to get in the way of your damn date, anyway."  
  
Mamori's eyes widened and she leaned over, looking over the top of Hiruma's laptop. He sounded… angry…  
  
"Are you upset that I invited Shin-san? I was just being polite."  
  
The laptop closed with a snap. "I'm going to take a shit." He stalked off, leaving Mamori to steam angrily.  
  
"Damn him." Mamori cursed as she glared at the floor. Neither of them acknowledged the hurt that showed in their eyes.  
  
She walked across the room back to Shin, Sena, and Suzuna. She had a smile plastered on her face as she handed Shin a cream puff.  
  
"Here you go, Shin-san. Your very first cream puff."  
  
"I don't eat sweets," Shin told her blankly.  
  
"Oh… but you've never even tried one before. At least take a bite. It's part of my thank you, remember?" She smiled warmly at him and Shin slowly took it from her hand.  
  
The Devilbats all paused and turned to look. From the door leading to the locker rooms, Hiruma stopped and stared in front of him. Everyone sweated as Shin brought the sweet pastry to his mouth. Suzuna, Seno, and Mamori leaned close as he took a bite and closed his eyes. Their breath caught expectantly.  
  
 _Why is Shin's reaction to a cream puff this interesting?_ Sena thought to himself.  
  
Shin's eyes snapped open and he stared at Mamori in shock.  
  
"I…" Shin paused, "I like it."  
  
"YAY!" The girls cheered. Hiruma walked into the locker room with a self-mocking smirk.  
  
"Aren't you going to finish it?" Seno offered as Shin set it back down on the small paper plate.  
  
"I cannot. I only eat according to a strict diet. But…" Shin trailed off. "I do not want to waste it."  
  
Mamori giggled. "I'm glad you like them. I'll finish this for you, if you want. I always enjoy cream puffs." Shin looked at her smiling face (as Monta keeled over behind Mamori in pain) and realized again she was something he couldn't describe (this time he's probably thinking "pretty"). He handed the pastry to her.  
  
"Thank you." Mamori shook her head.  
  
"No need for thanks. I'd be happy to get to know you better." Mamori finished the cream puff, not caring that he'd already taken a bite. She knew Shin too well to be worried about something like that. Monta was still dying a corner because she'd just had an indirect kiss with Shin by choice.  
  
Shin nodded. "I, too, would like to know you better." She blushed happily before getting to her feet.  
  
"Come on, let's pick a song for you to sing, Shin-san." She held out her hand to help him to his feet. He stared at her hand. _It's unnecessary to give me a hand up when she's weaker than I am._ Nonetheless, he gripped her hand and rose. She tugged him towards the karaoke machine.  
  
"I can only sing ballads." He informed her. Behind them, Sena paled to blue and sweatdropped.  
  
 _Which means you don't actually sing, you just tell a story with music in the background,_ Sena mentally corrected Shin as Mamori laughed.  
  
/In the locker room/  
  
Hiruma leaned against the lockers turning an unwrapped pack of gum over and over in his hand. Footsteps resounded heavily through the room and Musashi came around the corner.  
  
"Are you just going to stand here in the dark while some other guy steps in?" Musashi asked indifferently as he leaned against the lockers across from Hiruma and crossed his arms over his chest.  
  
"I don't know what the hell you're talking about, fucking old man," Hiruma said without venom. _Damn girl got the same brand I always buy._  
  
"If you don't want admit it out loud, that's up to you." Musashi shrugged. "It's just strange, though."  
  
Hiruma glanced up a few moments later as a ballad started in the common room. "What's fucking strange? Finish your damn thought!" Hiruma snapped, veins pulsing in his forehead.  
  
Musashi shrugged again. "It's strange that the guy who never gives up is giving up without trying first."  
  
Hiruma's eyes widened, then narrowed. His arm pulled back and snapped forward. Within a blink of an eye, the pack of gum thudded into the trashcan on the other side of the locker room.  
  
"There was nothing there to try for," he murmured. Musashi's eyes widened as Hiruma pushed away from the lockers. "I'm not a knight. I'm not even a good guy. I'm a really, really bad guy and nothing can change that." Hiruma smirked and walked towards the back door near the trashcan. "Feh. I need to buy another kind of gum. This shit is getting old." He stared down into can, seeing her gift lying on the bottom.  
  
"Hiruma… there's more to you than that. Everyone knows it, especially her. She's just as sharp as you. She sees what you try to hide." Musashi straightened up himself. "Stop hiding. Or are you just a coward all along?"  
  
Hiruma spun around, narrow eyes wide in surprise. Musashi stared back. Hiruma growled.  
  
"You don't know anything, fucking old man. Especially what I'm thinking or what she sees. So shut the fuck up!" Hiruma punched the lockers nearest him, leaving a dent. He spat his gum into the trashcan and walked out the back door.  
  
Musashi sighed. "Chuubou is going to be upset when he sees that."


	2. Just A Mistake

Just a Little

Chapter Two

Just a Mistake

  
Hiruma's foot was tapping against the ground rhythmically. His teeth were gnashing on his long-past-flavorless, sugarless spearmint gum. Sweat slipped down his body, into his eyes, making them sting and his view blur, but still his narrowed eyes locked on the object of his mounting irritation.  
  
The loud pop of his gum made his irritation increase as it covered the sound of her voice- a sound too far way, but much too close. Tension was leaking out of his tall, lanky form and filling the large clubhouse, causing a few of the other Saikyoudai players to glance over at him edgily. Of course, _she_ remained innocently oblivious. As if she couldn't feel it- as if she didn't create it.  
  
He didn't like this feeling. This effect on him she had. Just walking into the room and he was stuck, eyes glued, senses fixed, on her slender form as she made her way through the room, mop in hand. She'd been subtly changing over the weeks she'd started dating Shin. Like the way she'd wear skirts more often- and slightly shorter. Or the way she'd gloss her lips before leaving the clubroom, enunciating the sweet curves of her lips and making them glisten as if she'd just licked them. Or, when she leaned down next to him to hand him a towel or water bottle, she'd unconsciously brush her hair back behind her ears, exposing the length of her neck. Then, what irritated him the most, there was the scent that drifted off her. It used be that she smelled like cleaning agents or the library. Now, she smelled like something new and exotic each day. One day, it was strawberries. The next, it was coconut. It was definitely bearable- _unbearable_ , he meant- when she smelled like vanilla, a scent he hated and therefore could ignore.  
  
But today, today was the last straw. It wasn't some fruity, sugary smell- no, she smelled like _coffee_. In other words, like his favorite beverage. The first thing he smelled in the morning, the last thing he smelled at night. His house was flooded with the scent- even his _bedroom_. Every time she walked by, he could see her walking through his rooms, touching all his possessions. When she bent down beside him to drop a file on the table in front of him, she flipped her hair over her shoulder gently, exposed the pale curve of her neck, and _that damn scent_ wafted towards him. In an instant, a perfect image of her curled on his bed, auburn hair fanning over white cotton, bare limbs lying limp in a tangle of sheets, and blue eyes dark and heady flashed in his mind.  
  
She was already walking away without a word or glance. A low growl was working its way up his throat and only sheer will- which he did have an abundance of- kept that weakness from escaping.  
  
"Hiruma, is something wrong? I thought practice went well. You seem…upset?" Yamabushi slowly ventured, sweat on his temples. The others prayed silently for his soul.  
  
"Kekekekekeke, me upset? Fucking idiot, I don't know what you mean. Of course, our fucking manager might. I happen to know that everyone relies on her to keep her shit together, but I'm guess because the damn Rice Bowl is over it means she can slack off." Hiruma shrugged. If he had to be irritable and pissed, then so did she, damn it.  
  
Mamori spun on her heel, skirt flaring. "Just what does that mean, Hiruma-kun?" She propped her fists on her hips, mop still at the ready.  
  
"Have you seen these shitty notes on the coming fall season? We went to all those games to scout out the damn competition and it's all fucking chicken scratch!" Hiruma kicked at the desk, sending papers everywhere. "Not to mention, the fucking video wobbled the whole way through! You've been the fucking manager since high school and you still can't get it right?"  
  
Mamori flushed brightly in anger. "I-If you h-hadn't, b-but you k-kept- It wasn't _my_ fault!"  
  
"I don't recall interrupting you at all." Hiruma's eyebrows raised as Mamori stuttered.  
  
"You repeatedly demanded that I write some note you'd think up even while I was holding the camera! It was impossible to keep the camera steady and write with one hand." Mamori finally managed to protest coherently. "You should've written the notes yourself!"  
  
"Mamori-chan and Hiruma went to football games together _without us_?" Agon asked eyebrows rising. "How many times have I been turned down for a date, Mamori-chan, because you're too busy? Seems unfair."  
  
"B-But it w-wasn't- Agon-kun, that's ridiculous!" Mamori stuttered again.  
  
"Tch." Hiruma spat his gum into a trashcan just past Ikkyou, who squeaked and scrambled out of the way.  
  
"Don't spit in front of people like that! It's disgusting!" Mamori leveled the mop at Hiruma again.  
  
"Make me, fucking manager."  
  
"Maybe we should all calm down, Mamori-neechan?" Yamato smiled his confident smile, stepping up between them as Mamori strode across the room towards the quarterback from hell. He'd long ago caught on to her nickname from Sena.  
  
"Why are your harmonics out of tune today? This is jarring melody is not beautiful." Akaba noted as he looked between manager and quarterback. Hiruma shrugged and pulled out another strip of gum.  
  
"I've got no problem with the fucking manager except for her lousy notes." Hiruma got to his feet and the chair squealed over the ground behind his legs. "I'm sick of all this damn jabbering."  
  
Mamori steamed as he strode towards the locker room. "I've had enough of you, Hiruma-kun! You've known me for FOUR YEARS! The least you can do is call me by my name. Ma. Mo. Ri! It isn't that hard!" Mamori shouted at his back.  
  
"Are you okay, Mamori-chan?" Ikkyou asked hesitantly.  
  
"Yes, I'm fine. You all should go. Practice has been over for a while now." Mamori shook her head briskly and gave Ikkyou a half-hearted smile.  
  
"Maybe we shouldn't leave you alone with Hiruma-san…" Yamabushi suggested tentatively. Mamori flapped a hand.  
  
"You all have been working hard today. You all need to go home and rest. I'll gather up the papers and take them home with me before he finishes." Mamori assured them.  
  
"Next time, keep your stupid love spats out of the locker room." Agon told her. She blushed heavily.  
  
"We are not dating! I'm dating Shin-san!" Mamori yelled at him as he strode away.  
  
The others sighed woefully at this reminder, but gathered their gear and began to leave. She was right in saying they had worked hard. Most of them wanted to go home and pass out. They trudged out one-by-one until she was the last one remaining with only the distant sound of the shower for company. She set the mop in the closet and closed the door softly. Running her hand over the smooth metal, she couldn't help but sigh regretfully. Blue eyes traversed the room she'd kept tidy for the past two years, now in her third. Juumonji had just left for his study abroad program, leaving only Hiruma as the last link to her high school past. She missed old Deimon High. It had been great to visit there four months ago. It reminded her of all the tears and blood shed there, the drama and victory and defeat that first year she learned about amefuto… and truly met Hiruma. And had thought there may have been something between them.  
  
Through slowly blurring tears, she saw the old team scattered about the Deimon High clubroom, laughing and arguing. As tears trailed down her cheeks, she hugged her arms about her waist.  
  
"Why, even when I follow you, do you get further away?" She whispered to the corner where the smirking devil's shade reclined. She brushed away the tears and plastered a smile on her face. Deimon's clubroom faded to the much larger Saikyoudai room. She went into the girl's locker room- she shared with cheerleaders, whom practiced at different times than the players- where she'd left her backpack.  
  
Her whole body froze as a tall, warm presence came up behind her and snatched her backpack off the hanger first.  
  
"Leaving already? What about the notes, fucking manager?"  
  
The ice broke and she turned around, blue eyes shooting daggers. The words died in her throat as her gaze traveled up a bare, toned chest still damp from the shower. Blonde hair fell around his narrow, angular face that smiled his fang-baring grin. Dark green eyes met hers.  
  
"Well?"  
  
"You're indecent!" Mamori squealed, squeezing her eyes shut and sending a fist flying. She blinked open her eyes to see Hiruma on his ass, eyes wide in shock.  
  
"What the hell, fucking idiot!" Hiruma exclaimed as heat rushed to Mamori horror-stricken face.  
  
"Oh no! I busted your lip! I'm so sorry! It was an involuntary reaction! You surprised me." Mamori darted around him out the door towards the first-aid kit.  
  
"That's an involuntary reaction you need to control, fucking manager, or I'll knock _you_ on your ass next time." He got to his feet, picked up the bookbag he'd dropped, and followed her out the door.  
  
"You shouldn't have snuck up behind me half-naked! Really! And you wouldn't hit a girl anyway," Mamori retorted as she pushed Hiruma into a chair.  
  
"It's just a busted lip. It isn't even that bad, idiot," Hiruma muttered under his breath. "And I would definitely hit a girl if she deserved it. Chivalry died last century."  
  
"That's a cynical thing to say. Of course, you're made of cynical down to your bones." She leaned down in front of him with an alcohol swab. "By the way, I was planning on getting out of your way and taking my notes home with me tonight."  
  
"Tch. Great job with that plan."  
  
"I figured you'd take longer showering. Normally you do." Mamori threw the cotton ball away and pulled out a tube of Neosporin. Her eyes widened as his large hand wrapped around her wrist.  
  
"I don't need that shit." His mouth twisted up on the side, baring fangs in a smirk. "Why don't you kiss it and make it better, fucking Ma-Mo-Ri?"  
  
Mamori shuddered as the whisper of her name slithered down her spine. She yanked her hand away and got to her feet. After spinning on her heel, she stepped up to the huge playboard-table in the middle of the room. "Excuse me! I'm not going to-" Her hands were shaking as she struggled to twist the lid back onto the ointment tube.  
  
It clattered to the table as he stepped behind her again. Large hands wrapped around her wrists, again. Her back was warm with the heat of his chest pressing against her T-shirt- a layer of cloth much too thin, all of a sudden. Heat built in her cheeks when the smooth skin of his forehead rested against the curve of her throat. Breath tickled her skin, gently disturbing the cotton between his mouth and her shoulder blade.  
  
"H-H-Hiruma-kun?" Mamori stammered, her entire body shaking with shock.  
  
"You really are a fucking idiot." He muttered. Her flush became one of rage, her spine stiffening in protest.  
  
"You can't just go around insulting me all the time, Hiruma-kun! I'm getting absolutely sick of it! Shin-san doesn't insult me, or curse all the time, or complain about my chicken scratch! Well, he couldn't read it that one time I helped him with his homework, but he didn't complain!" Mamori turned her head to look at him, scowling fiercely. "So, if you think you can keep walking all over me like you have the past four years, you're sadly mistaken! I'm not the kind of a girl who can read minds or wait around forever for something that will probably never happen, so-"  
  
She ground to a halt as he looked up, green eyes flaming. She gulped nervously. It was already surprising that he'd let her go on for so long. She'd went too far, of course. She hadn't meant to say half of that- like comparing him to Shin, which was completely unfair to both of them, or even _subtly_ hinting that she'd been waiting around for him this entire time. Okay, so it wasn't exactly subtle since she'd outright said just that, but- Her babbling thoughts died.  
  
His lips were on hers.  
  
His lips. On hers.  
  
How? Why? WHEN?  
  
 _Oh God…_  
  
Her eyes were drifting shut- she could feel it happening. Her legs were getting weaker- she could feel that, too. All those bottled up feelings, broken off and left hanging these long years, were re-surging with a vengeance. Had that simple, innocent little kiss so long ago been so mind-boggling? _This kiss_ was mind-boggling. She barely even registered the awkwardness of her neck still turned over her shoulder.  
  
Those smooth, soft lips were melded against hers, drinking her in until she was gasping with it. His hands left her wrist to grab her hips, fingers digging into her curves. She tried vainly to turn, wanting to get closer to his mouth, wanting to press closer to his warm body. A short, startled squeak escaped her as his mouth tore away and he spun her with a wrench of his arms.  
  
"W-Wait, H-Hiruma-" She forced out her mouth, too dizzy to realize why there were alarm bells or figure out why this was happening in the first place.  
  
"No." Was her only answer before his mouth fell over hers again.  
  
This time his kiss was more insistent, pressing closer, moving back, just to press down again. She moved with him, sagging against the table as their mouths became wider with each touch- damper and hotter. His tongue ran over her swollen bottom lip and what was left of sanity was gone. She no longer felt the table behind her, no longer felt the alarm bells somewhere in the back of her mind, she didn't even remember she needed to breathe. The silky taste of him was flooding her and she wanted to sob with the intensity. Her hands had somehow ended up tangling in his still, damp blonde hair; trickles of water ran down her arms with a tickling sensation that only increased her physical awareness. He invaded her, making her tongue dance with his, sucking her into his mouth and making her whimper and her knees buckle. Never had she been kissed like this. Nor had anyone ran their hands over her bare stomach as butterflies waged war beneath her skin and heat flooded embarrassing places of her body. _He_ had been her first kiss. Her only kiss.  
  
And, damn it, if she didn't want it to stay that way. Who was she kidding? Dating Shin was a st-st-  
  
 _SHIN!_  
  
She wrenched away, panting raggedly. Shin's name hovered in the air as she realized, eyes wide, that she'd shouted his name aloud.  
  
"Obviously, you're confused. I'm not the fucking robot," Hiruma growled, his own voice hoarse.  
  
"N-No, you know that's not what I meant!" Mamori protested as her blue-eyed gaze, still hazy from the kiss, flickered up to meet his dark scowl.  
  
"I don't know what anything you do means anymore!" His fist slammed backwards into the lockers behind him. Mamori flinched.  
  
"Don't destroy public property, Hiruma-kun!" She exclaimed automatically.  
  
"I DON'T FUCKING CARE!" Hiruma shouted, fists clenched so tight his nails bit into his palms. "For weeks now, you've been getting under my skin and it's pissing me OFF!"  
  
"I don't know what you're talking about! If you're so angry why did you just… just do _that_!" She waved her arm vaguely.  
  
"I couldn't take anymore." He reached out and grabbed her upper arms, dragging her up against him, glaring down into her shocked face. "You're doing it on purpose, aren't you?"  
  
"Doing _what_?"  
  
"The make-up and the skirts and those stupid, fucking smells!"  
  
"I DON'T SMELL!" Mamori snapped. "I'm not doing anything to piss you off on purpose, you paranoid psycho!"  
  
"LIKE HELL! _Coffee_? You walk around throwing _coffee_ in my face and you expect me to believe it's not on purpose?"  
  
"Wh-What? I didn't throw- You mean… _my shampoos_? You're pissed off because of my _shampoo_?" Mamori gaped at him, flabbergasted.  
  
"Why are you dating him, Mamori?"  
  
She shivered, taken unaware by the sudden use of her name. _Why does he have this hold over me? Just my name on his lips and I want to swoon._  
  
"Let me go."  
  
"Answer me." He retorted.  
  
"It's none of your business who I date or why!" She replied coldly.  
  
"Like hell it isn't. You know, like everyone else on this team, everyone else from Deimon, you've been mine since the day you became my manager," he said. Her eyes widened.  
  
"How _dare_ you act like you have some claim on me? You _never_ once asked me out! I became the manager for Sena-kun and I remained manager because I enjoyed it. There was nothing between us!" Mamori hissed past gritted teeth, ignoring the half-lies and focusing on the half-truths she'd just uttered.  
  
"That's bullshit and we both know it."  
  
"Do we?" Mamori looked away; lashes fluttered down over blue irises. "Do I? Or was I just imagining it?" she murmured as if to herself.  
  
"You're doing dating him to piss me off. You don't feel the same way about him as you do about me. You'd never have let me kiss you otherwise." Hiruma insisted, his hands tightening around her biceps. Her eyes closed as she sighed.  
  
"You're hurting me, Youichi." She whispered, her shoulders tightening against the pain welling up in her chest.  
  
He let her go suddenly and stepped back. Both of them had heard the double entendre in her words.  
  
With a muttered curse, he stalked away. She kept her eyes on the ground as he pulled his shirt over his head and grabbed his things. She flinched slightly when the door slammed shut behind him.  
  
Slowly, the tears filmed her lashes, but she refused to let them fall. It wasn't worth it. It wasn't. At all. He wasn't. At all.  
  
She ignored the dusting tickle down her cheeks and refused to blink. The white tiles with grey and black markings swam and blurred and she easily blamed it on keeping her eyes open too long.  
  
 _Damn him. Damn him. Damn him!_ She screamed in her mind as her fingers curled into fists. _Why… why does it have to be like this? Why does_ he _have to be like this?_

.  
  
Voices bubbled around her as Mamori pushed the poor strawberry around the parfait glass with a silver spoon. Most of the parfait, as well as the strawberry of course, was still uneaten and had melted into a puddle. For once, the seductive tastes of strawberries and vanilla were like sand on her tongue. She could only remember the taste of- She growled angrily and began to stab rapidly at the strawberry.  
  
"Anezaki?"  
  
She gasped and looked up into Shin's narrowed eyes. "S-Sorry, could you repeat that last-"  
  
"I asked if you wanted a cream puff instead." He gestured to the offensive dessert being mauled by her spoon. She blushed bright red. "You obviously don't care for that one today, but cream puffs always make you happy."  
  
Mamori's hand slackened as her eyes softened. "I'm so sorry, Shin-kun. I've been a horrible date, haven't I?"  
  
"Not necessarily. I don't really expect you to be happy all the time. However, it is strange that you've been so early to our dates this week when you're usually late. Doesn't Hiruma usually make practices run late and give you too much to do?"  
  
"It was never too much to do." Mamori protested. "I was fully capable of the responsibilities! I just… I took a break this week." Mamori bit her lip softly. "For personal reasons."  
  
Shin frowned slightly. "Is our relationship affecting your work ethic? I didn't think it be much interference."  
  
"Oh! No! Of course not! You're probably one of the best boyfriends a busy girl like me could ask for, any girl for that matter. If you'd loosen up and smile a little more, I bet you'd be the best altogether." Mamori giggled and smiled at him. She was rewarded with the softening of his face and a slight upward quirk of his lips that constituted a smile. "There we go. You look so handsome when you stop frowning," she teased.  
  
One eyebrow rose. "I still don't understand these physical distinctions that make up the standards of beauty, but I do understand that's a compliment. Thank you. However, I won't be distracted so easily, Anezaki. There's something wrong. I don't like it when you're sad or that you're keeping the reason hidden from me. Surely, as your boyfriend, that's something you should talk to me about. Sakuraba explained that a healthy relationship requires _communication_ in a very… vague sense of the word. It took a great deal of explaining… and many examples from those silly books of Wakana's."  
  
Mamori sweatdropped. The fact that Shin's friends were habitually using shoujo manga to teach him the mechanics of dating still amazed her. That and the fact he took the works of Yuu Watase or CLAMP so seriously. She tapped her spoon on the glass to shake off the excess ice cream and set it down on the napkin.  
  
"You're right. As is Sakuraba-san, no matter what material he refers to when he tries to explain things. I need to talk to you about something important, but…" Her blue eyes scanned the heavily populated coffee shop filled with girls, couples, and waiters.  
  
"Understood. I'll go pay the bill. Will you wait for me?"  
  
"Of course. Should I help-" She reached for her purse, but he cut her off with the quick movement of his hand.  
  
"A gentleman always pays." She smiled as he made his way through the tables.  
  
 _I feel like such a… such a…_ She scanned her mind for a suitable word and remembered a rather colorful one Tomoe had used that had made Seno blush and Suzuna laugh uproariously. _I feel like such a skank._ She burst into chuckles, then, sobered quickly. "It's not really something to laugh about, Mamori. What happened was wrong and a betrayal as well," she scolded herself sternly.  
  
"Are you ready to go?" Shin asked as he returned.  
  
"Oh, yes. Um, yes." She quickly got to her feet, flustered and guilty.  
  
She led him out onto the sidewalk before he took a long stride to walk beside her. Apprehension mounted as silence grew between them. Shin wasn't normally a talker to begin with, but this silence had an edge to it. An edge that cut. Maybe it was just her, though. Mamori wrapped her arms around her ribs, shivering slightly. Spring was still in the air and a cold breeze was whipping through the town as the sun set. I should've brought a sweater. Mamori thought uselessly. She blinked as a heavy weight fell around her shoulders. She automatically gripped the edges of the white jacket Shin had dropped on her. She looked at it, and sure enough, the large blue 'O U' stood out in relief over the breast.  
  
"I'm not that cold," Mamori quickly told him, shrugging out of the jacket.  
  
"I'm not cold at all. You shivered." Shin shrugged. "My larger body mass will keep me warmer than your slighter one. Keep it for now."  
  
Mamori bit down, hard, on her lip. _I_ really _feel like skank now!_  
  
Shin paused and looked over to his right. He reached out to lay a gentle hand on her shoulder, halting her forward movement. He pointed to the slope of grass that led down to the river and the sidewalk that traveled along the waterline. She nodded, hitching her shoulders up resolutely. _Now or never, Mamori!_ She told herself. He helped her down the slope, keeping a hand under her elbow so she wouldn't slip. A pang twisted her heart at his unintentional sweetness. As her feet met level ground near the sidewalk, she looked up at him, guilt curving her mouth down.  
  
"You're so considerate, Shin-kun. I'm so sorry…" Mamori looked away, then, forced herself to look back up at him.  
  
Shin frowned, eyebrows angling down to the bridge of his nose. "What for? I don't understand."  
  
"I…" Mamori tightened her arms around her waist, but kept her eyes locked on his and her voice firm. "I kissed someone else. It took me by surprise, and I wasn't expecting it, but that it happened at all is inexcusable."  
  
Shin's frowned cleared, eyes wider than usual, nostrils slightly flared. A few moments later, his frown slowly descended again. "I don't… I don't like that it happened. You're not supposed to do that if we're dating, I know that much. I'm…" His frown deepened. "I'm angry about it. It's not just you that I'm angry with, though. In fact, I'm angrier with the person that you kissed."  
  
Mamori stared at him somewhere between shock and amazement as he sorted through his feelings. "I… I know I wasn't supposed to; I cheated on you. I shouldn't have agreed to date you if I can't be someone you can trust." Mamori conceded, disgusted with herself.  
  
"Did you think this would happen before we started dating?" Shin asked, slightly bewildered.  
  
"NO! Of course not! I never thought he would do that!" Mamori exclaimed, aghast. Shin's eyes narrowed.  
  
"What do you mean _he would do that_? Did _he_ kiss you?"  
  
"I… Th-there's not much of a difference," Mamori stammered.  
  
"There is. I don't understand exactly why, but there is a difference. I was already angry that it happened, but the fact that he instigated it is a different matter. Did he force himself on you?" he demanded, his voice heating.  
  
"That's not exactly the right word to use…" Mamori demurred. Shin made a disgruntled noise.  
  
"Do I know him?"  
  
"I shouldn't answer that."  
  
"Does he know we're dating?"  
  
"Y-yes."  
  
"So he forced himself on you, he knows me, and knows we're dating. I don't see how you're at fault, Mamori. Tell me who he is." Mamori's eyes widened as she glanced down at Shin's clenched fists.  
  
"Y-You're not, NO! I'm not going to say who it was! You're not going to go beat him up because you'll both be suspended from amefuto for the season and-"  
  
"He is amefuto player?" Shin hissed dangerously, eyes glinting. Mamori clapped her hands over her mouth.  
  
"Shin-kun, forget it! Please!" She darted forward and grasped his fists in her hands.  
  
"You were right before. This situation is inexcusable. The players on your teams I count as comrades or good acquaintances. This is not just your betrayal."  
  
"I'm not entirely blameless, Shin-kun! I could've ended it sooner, I could've pushed him away, or not been in the situation at all! Shin-kun, this entire time we've been dating has been a sham!" Mamori cried out, her eyes squeezed tight as she held back tears. _I will not cry. Tears are a tool only weak people use. I am stronger than that._  
  
"What do you mean?" Shin asked, the heat gone from his voice. She winced hearing pain. _Oh, no… does he feel more about me than I thought?_  
  
Blue eyes darted up into black. Sure enough, there was confusion, and some anger left over, but there was a great deal of pain. Once again, her heart wrung itself tightly in guilt and a similar pain.  
  
"I didn't mean to hurt you."  
  
"Explain, Anezaki," he bluntly ordered.  
  
"I've loved someone… for a long time. It was him; he was the one I kissed. That's why I didn't push him away, and that's why I'm the one at fault here, Shin-kun. I thought… I thought you were so kind and sweet. You seemed so innocent and like a knight." Mamori smiled softly. "You treated me with such respect that I felt… special…even if I really wasn't. You're just that way, but I liked it. I like you, Shin-kun, very much, but I… I love this person deeply. I never should've agreed to date you, not for such selfish reasons. I enjoyed getting to know you and spending time with you. I liked not having to be efficient and busy, but instead just enjoying my time with a handsome guy that was kind and generous." Mamori let go of his hands and step back. "I sound so stupid. I sound like a child reaching for a treat because it's lower on the shelf than the one she really wants. I sound like an idiot!" She shook her head angrily. "I'm sorry, Shin-kun."  
  
He stared at her silently. She smiled sadly and then bowed.  
  
 _It's for the best. Maybe I do deserve a guy who treats me well, but Shin-kun deserves a girl that can reciprocate his feelings,_ Mamori thought to herself as she walked away, clutching the area of clothing right over her heart.  
  
"Mamori."  
  
She froze as the cold breeze pushed at her back, pushing her forward, away from Shin, away from the lower shelf, back towards the unattainable like before.  
  
She wasn't one to always bend. She turned slowly to see him walking up to her.  
  
"No," he said simply.  
  
"What?"  
  
"I don't want you to walk away. That would mean we've broken up, right?"  
  
"That would be the correct way to translate the symbology of it, yes. I should've made it clear in words, I'm sor-"  
  
"No. I don't want to break up with you," Shin once again denied simply. Mamori gaped at him, jaw somewhere near her toes.  
  
"B-But… I…"  
  
"I know what you did. I understand what you said. I choose, however, not to let you walk away. It is my choice to make as well." Mamori nodded dumbly. "When we first started dating four months ago, I didn't really understand what it meant. I just knew that Sakuraba said I should have a girlfriend, but I never really noticed girls. Then, there was you. I noticed you. I wanted to understand you. I wanted to know why your face turned red, or why it felt nice when you smiled at me." Shin frowned in concentration and placing a palm over his chest. " Being with you makes me want to smile. I ask new questions and learn new things. Life isn't always about reaching the next goal or winning the next game and you taught me those things. Just now, it hurt to watch you walk away and a person should never intentionally cause oneself pain. Letting you go would be a mistake."  
  
Mamori covered her mouth with her hands as tears welled in her eyes. She figured these tears would be okay, because they came from a happy pain.  
  
"Shin-kun, I… I don't know…"  
  
"I… I like you, Mamori. I was intrigued by you before, so I also came into this relationship in the wrong way. I want to start over the right way. Be my girlfriend because I like you, Mamori, and because spending time with you is enjoyable."  
  
"I c-can't promise… I can't promise to return those feelings, Shin-kun."  
  
Shin shrugged. "I'm persistent. For some reason, this other person you've loved isn't dating you. He isn't very kind to you, either, I'm guessing. I am and I will be. I won't take you for granted, or the time we spend together."  
  
Mamori's eyes widened. "I k-kissed him, though. You said it bothered you."  
  
"It does." Shin agreed. "So kiss me, too. Then, it'll be even and I'll forget about it. If you do, then I'll take that for a yes. If you don't, I'll not ask again. However, I'll need my jacket back, because we'll probably avoid each other for a while."  
  
Mamori's mouth worked soundlessly, trying to come up with _something_ to say.  
  
"Why is it so simple for you?" she finally blurted.  
  
"Because it is simple. Do you like me? Do you enjoy being with me? If so, then don't break up with me."  
  
Mamori blinked and, slowly, laughter bubbled up and out of her throat until she bent over double, gasping and shuddering from it.  
  
"I do." Mamori finally choked out, wiping away tears of laughter. "I want to be with you, Shin-kun. Just to find out what you say next. I want to see you really grin or really laugh. I don't want us to break up. I like you, too." Mamori grinned happily up at him.  
  
His face softened with that half-mouthed quirk of a smile. "Good. You can call me Seijuuro."  
  
Mamori blushed. She took a small step forward, leaning into his personal space until she could feel his body heat. Her heart began to beat faster and she realized with shock that she really was attracted to Shin and the idea of kissing him made her nervous. His eyes widened beyond what she'd seen before as her hands laid on his chest.  
  
"What are you doing?" he choked out. She wanted to laugh hearing the panic in his voice. He'd never broken composure before.  
  
"We had a deal. A kiss seals it, ne?" She tilted her head to the side, still blushing as she smiled.  
  
"You don't have to kiss me. It was just an idea."  
  
"I know, but… I want to… if you do." His wide eyes met hers as sweat slid down his temples.  
  
She simply waited, smiling softly. When he made no move forward, her eyes drooped slightly and she lowered herself to the ground. "It's all right to take it back. Maybe the timing isn't exactly right after everything." Mamori sighed softly.  
  
Shin gulped and laid his hands on her shoulders heavily, making her jump slightly. "Close your eyes, okay? I… I don't know what I'm doing," he muttered. Mamori giggled as she complied.  
  
He lowered himself the few inches between them- he wasn't much taller than her- and stared intently into her face. She was still smiling slightly, with a blush over the bridge of her nose. The last rays of sunlight were glowing on her pale skin and his hands trembled slightly. He'd never felt so jittery, like he was about to lose his balance or drop the football two feet from the goal line. It was almost like fear, but not quite. (He's nervous, if you haven't guessed that yet.)  
  
He let his lips hover over hers, felt the brush of her breath on his lips, and felt an urgency in his gut. Gently, softly, his lips brushed hers. A fire lit. Not a huge, mind-blowing, earth-tilting one, but she felt it bloom in her heart. A warmth that made her feel safe and excited at once. His lips weren't as thin as Hiruma's and his touch was more hesitant and innocent. It made her heart swell even as she leaned closer, wanting to experience more. There was no frightening loss of self. Instead, she felt herself and she felt him and she felt… good. She felt precious. Like glass. Her fingers clutched his shirt and pulled his mouth down closer, just enough. She let her mouth slant to the side to help him get closer. Their gentle kiss deepened, just enough to make her breath catch.  
  
They drew apart, gradually tearing away from the contact. As their eyes met, the feeling in her heart glowed. There wasn't ownership. There wasn't a demand. But there was a mutual want and desire. His hand reached up and cupped her face, his eyes still rather shocked and hazy. It was so odd and exhilarating to see an expression on his normally stolid face. The glow brightened and squeezed painfully tight at the tenderness in his touch.  
  
"Mamori…" he stopped, unable to finish his wordless thought.  
  
"Seijuuro," she answered, smiling.  
  
She blinked as a real smile, though small, curved his mouth.


	3. Push A Little

Just A Little  
  
Chapter Three  
  
Push a Little  
  
The next day Mamori went back to amefuto practice with her head held high. Shin had encouraged her to go and she was tired of hiding anyway. Hiruma was going to learn that sometimes he didn't get what he wanted. Mamori frowned angrily as she handed towels out to the team. _It's not like I ever knew what he wanted! I just followed along, seeing signs and just playing myself!_ A few members of the team glanced at her face and, then, made anxious eye contact with each other.  
  
"I'm glad you came back, Mamori-neechan. We all missed you. Junko-chan is nice enough, but it's not the same without you," Ikkyou told Mamori, with an embarrassed flush. Behind him, Junko, the first-year assistant manager, nodded rapidly.  
  
"Hiruma-senpai is so scary! I don't know how you got along so well with him," Junko shivered.  
  
The rest of the team looked at each other again, all looking a little blue. Mamori's eyebrows shot up.  
  
"What happened last week?" Mamori asked. Yamabushi scratched his cheek.  
  
"Hiruma was just a little… tense…" Yamabushi finally said. "Did… Did anything happen after we left the clubroom last week? You disappeared after that…" He trailed off as Hiruma walked up.  
  
"It was nothing. Nothing happened," Mamori answered firmly.  
  
"Were you saying something important, fucking manager?"  
  
"Not really." Mamori turned her face away and dropped the remaining towels in his arms. "I have to go pick up equipment."  
  
Hiruma watched her walk away with an inscrutable expression on his face. He blew a large gum bubble, frowning.  
  
"Hey… isn't that Shin? What the fuck is he doing here?" Agon pointed off to the side of the field where a stocky figure was heading towards them. Mamori turned quickly and dropped the safety cones she was holding.  
  
"It is Shin-san! Oh my gosh!" Junko squealed excitedly.  
  
"Seijuuro, what's wrong?" Mamori called to him. Everyone stared as she blushed heavily. _I forgot to use his last name. How embarrassing._  
  
Shin came up even with her and shrugged. "Nothing is wrong. I came to walk you home."  
  
Mamori's blush died as she gaped up at him, astonished. "B-But… you have practice."  
  
"I do. My coach agreed to let me leave early. I practiced two hours longer this morning. I knew you'd be uncomfortable coming back to practice. It is over, correct?"  
  
"Y-Yes. I just have to clean up. Do you mind waiting?"  
  
"No."  
  
"Okay." Mamori hurried back to the safety cones, flustered and grinning. As she jogged away, Shin turned to the football team, frowning darkly.  
  
"Mamori is my girlfriend. Hands _off_ ," he told them all before walking to the bleachers to sit and wait.  
  
"Why are you all standing around? Go fucking shower!" Hiruma shouted, pulling out guns. The team hurried across the field.  
  
"What was that all about? We all know they're dating," Yamato wondered aloud.  
  
"Shin doesn't say anything without a reason," Banba muttered. "Something happened last week and he's angry."  
  
"Obviously, someone struck a wrong chord and now the tune is ruined," Akaba agreed.  
  
"Everyone thought Mamori was dating Hiruma since high school, so maybe something happened between them?" Ikkyou wondered. The rest of the team blanched.  
  
"Why are you standing around gossiping like fucking girls?" Agon yelled at them from behind. "Do you all _want_ to get shot?"  
  
Outside, Shin watched the group jog away with Hiruma and Agon walking sedately behind them, a long gun lying on the blonde's shoulder. _He must be on her team. Agon, Yamato, and Hiruma are the likely choices based on strength of character and intelligence. Hiruma is most likely because he has little scruples and has known her the longest. I will watch him closely,_ Shin decided. Just then, Hiruma turned and waved jauntily at Shin before walking into the clubroom. Shin's nostrils flared. _Percentage is now 99 out of 100._  
  
Within twenty minutes, Mamori had cleaned up the field, changed, and was walking off campus with Shin.  
  
"Thank you, Seijuuro, for coming to get me today. I wasn't terribly comfortable, just like you thought." Mamori smiled up at him. "Would you like to go out for coffee or maybe dinner? We could go to my apartment and eat with Suzuna. Sena will most likely come over, as well. Maybe even Mitcchan and Rikku. Suzuna and I try to invite Mitcchan over as often as possible so she won't be lonely for Juumonji-kun."  
  
"I would like to eat with everyone. It sounds like a good idea." Shin frowned and then pulled out two slips of paper. "Wakana gave these to me. She said she and Takami were planning to go this weekend. She wants us to go with them."  
  
Mamori took the slips of paper and her eyes widened. "An amusement park? You mean, like a double date?" Mamori exclaimed.  
  
"Yes. That is what she called it."  
  
"I love amusement parks, but… are they your thing?" Mamori asked hesitantly.  
  
"My thing?" Shin repeated, confused.  
  
"I mean, do you like amusement parks?"  
  
Shin paused and frowned as he recollected an early, childhood memory. _"Seijuuro-chan, it'll be fine. Your father and I will be right next to you the whole time. You'll see. It's a lot of fun. Like flying."_ After that, Shin could only remember vomiting and refusing to go on a roller coaster ever again. He did vaguely remember a… merry-go-round, was it? He had really liked the elephant carriage.  
  
"I do not go to them myself, but I do not mind going with you. Just… no roller coasters," Shin finally told her. Mamori giggled.  
  
"No problem."

.  
  
The day before the amusement park, Mamori scanned shelves in the school library as her friends chattered quietly behind her. The subject came around to boys, as it normally did, and her friends turned on her.  
  
"Mamori-chan, have you and Shin… you know… done it yet?" Sachiko asked boldly.  
  
Mamori gasped and her hand jerked, sending books toppling to the floor. "Really, Sachiko-chan, isn't that too personal?" Mamori hissed as she fell to her knees to gather up books.  
  
"But you and Shin have been dating so long!" Makoto protested, bending down to help, blushing and just as embarrassed as Mamori. "Most girls give it up before they leave high school, you know."  
  
"Have _you_?" Mamori retorted.  
  
"N-No, I haven't. I haven't had a boyfriend yet, though," Makoto sighed.  
  
"I have," Sachiko whispered. Mamori and Makoto stared at her, wide-eyed with shock. Sachiko shrugged, even though she was blushing. "Last year. At a party. You guys remember Yosuke, right?"  
  
They blinked. "The tennis player? With the tan? _Him_?" Sachiko nodded.  
  
"Why didn't you tell us before?" Makoto demanded as Mamori put the books back on the shelf.  
  
"It never seemed like the right time. Besides, it was horrible. The first time always sucks. Now, the second time, that's the fun one."  
  
"You didn't!" Mamori and Makoto exclaimed breathlessly.  
  
"Remember Taro?"  
  
"The transfer student? With the stupid little goatee?" Sachiko nodded.  
  
"Was there a _third_ time?" Makoto asked as Mamori mentally hunted for ways to change the subject.  
  
"No, well, almost. Remember Akito? We had a thing going, but he was going on about marriage and stuff, so I ended it before he got creepy."  
  
"Wow. You're like… a real woman, now." Makoto whispered.  
  
"Having sex doesn't make you a woman." Mamori blurted out angrily. "Am I less a woman because I don't have and never have had sex?"  
  
"So, you haven't yet? Why not?" Sachiko inquired. Mamori sighed.  
  
"I'm not ready for it yet and Seijuuro doesn't seem to be either. We just had a first and only kiss last week."  
  
"One kiss? That's it? How boring." Sachiko pouted. "I've never dated an amefuto player and they have such hot bodies. You're letting yours go to waste."  
  
"He isn't a dessert, Sachiko!" Mamori objected, trying not to laugh. "I like Seijuuro very much, but… sex? That's just… that's not even on the table."  
  
"Not even with Hiruma?" Makoto asked thoughtfully. "You guys dated for years, right?"  
  
The books in Mamori's hands tumbled to the ground. "W-W-WHAT?"  
  
"SSSHHHHH!" Came hisses from all sides as Mamori and Makoto dropped to their knees again.  
  
"Hiruma and I _never_ dated. We _never_ had sex, either!" Mamori told Makoto with a bright red face.  
  
"Just because you didn't officially date, didn't mean there wasn't chemistry. All those games we went to with you, it was obvious that sparks were flying. C'mon, fess up, you kissed at least, right?" Sachiko prodded. Mamori stared at the ground; her shoulders slumped.  
  
"We kissed twice. They didn't mean anything, though. They were completely empty. I'd rather have one, meaningful kiss with Seijuuro, than ten thousand kisses from Hiruma. Hiruma never felt anything for me," Mamori muttered.  
  
Makoto and Sachiko glanced at each other.  
  
"Hey, forget those books, girl. Let's go get some ice cream from the cafeteria. C'mon." It didn't take much convincing to lead Mamori out of the library. The two friends chattered again to fill in Mamori's silence.  
  
A tall, lean figure walked around a shelf and bent down to pick up books left on the floor. As large, pale hands placed books back where they belonged, gum bubbled and popped. Hiruma's pale brows were low over the bridge of his nose, green eyes pensive.  
  
"Meaningless, eh?" He murmured.  
  
Suzuna and Seno were sitting on the couch in Mamori's and Suzuna's shared apartment that Sunday as Mamori paraded out outfit after outfit. The t.v. on the news channel created a pleasant buzz of background noise while they weighed the pros and cons of each choice.  
  
"I still think she should wear the leggings and mini-skirt with that striped turtle-necked tank top," Suzuna insisted while Seno frowned softly.  
  
"But the news said it might rain later…" Seno murmured.  
  
"I always bring an umbrella," Mamori assured Seno, whose expression cleared.  
  
"Then, I agree. It was cute." Suzuna squealed happily and locked Seno in a chokehold as Mamori headed back to the bedroom. "C-Can't b-breathe."  
  
"Make sure you all don't destroy the apartment while I'm gone. I trust most of you, but Tommochi and Monta-kun get so rowdy. You will be careful, right?" Mamori called down the hallway. Suzuna made a face as Seno giggled.  
  
"We aren't babies, Mamo-nee! We're all in college, now, even Mitcchan and Tommochi!" Suzuna exclaimed.  
  
"Yes, I know. I'm just altogether nervous. I've never been on a double-date before."  
  
"I think it's the fact you're going on a more… date-like date than anything else," Seno suggested as Mamori came back down the hall putting in simple, green, pearl earrings.  
  
"What do you mean?"  
  
"Well, you've both gone out for coffee together and talk on the phone and even just go walking after classes let out, but you've never gone to the movies, or a festival, or an amusement park before today. You haven't even gone out to eat. Cakes with coffee don't count, especially since Shin-san doesn't eat cake with you." Seno pointed out.  
  
"She's right! Sena and I do that stuff all the time, but you and Seiju-kun don't." Suzuna concurred with wide eyes.  
  
"Well, it's a little difficult to go out to eat when he's on such a strict diet. I don't know if he ever goes to movies or festivals, either. He's just so… serious. I don't think he knows how to have fun." Mamori told them.  
  
"Today you should make sure he has fun, then!" Suzuna cried. "He's needs to loosen up a lot! We're going to have a summer party on the beach in a couple months, so make sure you tell him he's gotta come."  
  
"Should I invite Wakana-chan and Takami-kun as well?"  
  
"Sure, sure. Monta-kun is inviting Sakkuba-kun, too." Suzuna flapped her hand and flopped onto the couch.  
  
"Sakkuba?"  
  
"Sakuraba-san." Seno clarified just as the doorbell rang.  
  
"Right on time." Mamori smiled as she picked up her purse and walked towards the front door.  
  
"Have fun, Mamo-nee!" Suzuna shouted when she stepped outside with Shin.  
  
"Your friend is loud, even when she is not cheering on the field." Shin noted as Mamori closed the door behind herself, sweatdropping slightly.  
  
"Yes, she is. Are Wakana-chan and Takami-kun meeting us at the amusement park?"  
  
"At two-thirty." Shin nodded.  
  
"It's one 'o' clock now. We have plenty of time. Would you like to get some lunch?"  
  
Shin blinked. "Have you not eaten? I ate my planned lunch with the exact balance of calories and vitamins at exactly twelve 'o' clock, so I do not need to eat now. I can stop somewhere with you, however."  
  
"No, it's all right." Mamori chuckled behind her hand. "I'll just buy something at the amusement park."  
  
The double date with Wakana and Takami went exceedingly well. Wakana was bursting with stories about her all-women's university and Takami had a few of his own about being a medical student. Mamori and Wakana had a lot of fun eating hotdogs and too much funnel cake, while the guys chatting about football. Then, they dragged the boys towards the rides. Shin stayed on the sidelines for the roller coasters, but he suffered through the Hall of Mirrors wearing a disgruntled scowl for every dead-end reflecting his scowl back at him, and also endured the Haunted House. He endured it badly, if the equipment had anything to say about it, though. Shin ended up being banned from the ride because he broke the ghost of a drowned woman's nose. The employee almost pressed charges.  
  
"I'm so sorry, Seijuuro. I thought this wasn't your kind of thing, but I went along with it because I like amusement parks." Mamori sighed as she dabbed at Shin's knuckles in the first-aid office.  
  
"There has to be something that you like here." Wakana sighed exasperatedly.  
  
"If he doesn't like it, then he doesn't. They aren't on my list of top favorite places, either. If you hadn't done it, Shin, I probably would've punched that guy in the face. He was a creep- even excluding the fact he was cross-dressing." Takami scoffed with arms crossed over his chest.  
  
"I should not have reacted in that way. I'm sorry, Mamori. I was startled." Shin apologized with a guilty frown.  
  
"No, it's fine." Mamori shook her head and smiled gently up at him. His lips quirked up slightly as her eyes brightened excitedly. "I know! The Ferris Wheel! You don't have a problem with heights, do you?"  
  
Shin considered it. "Not that recall, no."  
  
"It's perfect then! No ups and downs like a roller coaster, no confusing mirrors and dead-ends, and no cross-dressing ghosts who get touchy-feeling with amefuto players."  
  
"It does sound ideal," Shin agreed. Wakana clapped, laughing.  
  
"It sounds perfect! I've been dying to go on the Ferris Wheel all day. It'll be our last ride, what do you think?" Wakana turned dark brown eyes on Takami, who grinned.  
  
"Sounds great to me, too."  
  
As they walked towards the line, Mamori's cell began to vibrate. Shin paused as Mamori fell behind while she searched her pockets and then her purse for her phone. Her eyebrows twitched at the name. She glanced up and smiled with gritted teeth.  
  
"You go on ahead hold a place in line for us. I'll be right there," Mamori suggested as she flipped open the phone.  
  
"Are you sure?"  
  
"Definitely." Mamori waved him away and put the phone to her ear. "Moshi moshi."  
  
"WHERE THE FUCK ARE YOU?"  
  
Mamori winced and pulled the phone away from her ear. "What are you talking about! It's none of your business!" Mamori shouted back into the phone. Strangers quickly gave her a wide berth.  
  
"You do realize, you fucking idiot, that we have a damn game today? RIGHT NOW?"  
  
Mamori's eyes widened. "Oh, no! I had no idea! There's a game… but with who? I don't remember anything about it!"  
  
"Maybe if you hadn't skipped practice all damn week you'd fucking remember," Hiruma spat angrily. Mamori's back went up.  
  
"You know exactly why I did, you… you _damn jerk_." Mamori growled back. "I memorized the entire line-up for this season. I was positive this week was free," she insisted.  
  
"Maybe what _exactly_ happened caused you to forget," Hiruma suggested. She could almost hear the smirk in his voice as she turned beet red. "Are you going to fucking show up? Or is whatever the hell you're doing more fucking important than your managerial duties?"  
  
Mamori stiffened and glanced over her shoulder. Shin was staring over at her from the line, arms crossed, and looking worried. Very obviously worried. He was so good at reading body language that he probably knew to whom she was talking. _Has he figured out who it was?_ Mamori bit her lip.  
  
"Well, Mana-jerk, you showing up or not?" Hiruma repeated angrily. "You're already going to be fucking late."  
  
 _Shin or Hiruma? Hiruma or Shin?_ Mamori closed her eyes and took a deep breath.  
  
"Hiruma, Junko-chan is more than capable of taking over my place today. I will not let this happen again, but I'm already engaged at the moment. Good-bye, Hiruma."  
  
"WH-WHAT? You can't be fucking serious!"  
  
Mamori closed her phone and pressed it to her lips. _I've chosen Shin outright now, Hiruma. I'm sorry, but this is really good-bye for us._  
  
She turned and ran towards the Ferris Wheel, waving.  
  
"Is everything all right?" Wakana asked anxiously.  
  
"Yes, everything is fine. Hiruma just called, that's all. He says there's a game today, but I totally forgot. I can't even remember who we're playing…" Mamori trailed off as she stepped up next to Shin. "I have an assistant manager, however, and she's more than capable of taking care of them. I'll have to make it up to him, however." Mamori sighed as Wakana giggled.  
  
Takami and Shin glanced at each other, frowning silently. "I didn't know that Saikyoudai had a game today." Takami said slowly.  
  
"I totally forgot, too." Mamori laughed. "It's so uncharacteristic of me. I did miss practice all week, though. It's only natural, I guess."  
  
"Next up," announced the Ferris Wheel conductor. Takami and Wakana quickly got in their seats. Wakana waved as the door shut and the Ferris Wheel moved up.  
  
Mamori and Shin got in the next one and sat opposite of each other as the ride slowly rotated upwards. Their basket wobbled and swayed as they were lifted higher and higher off the ground. Mamori squirmed in her seat, fighting the urge to call Hiruma back and say she'd be there soon. It felt like she was shirking her responsibilities, which she'd never been able to do well, if at all. It wasn't just the responsibility, though. She hadn't let _Hiruma_ down- ever. She'd always gone to his side when he called; usually, he didn't even have to call. They'd always been in such agreement. Sure, they argued and fought constantly, but under it all, their ideals were the same: perfection and achieving their goals. For the past four years, their goals had been the same. Now, she had no idea what he wanted, but whatever it was, it was putting her in a distressing personal situation. An altogether new experience.  
  
"Mamori."  
  
She continued to glare at the glass, anger coursing at the remembrance.  
  
"Mamori." Shin reached over and tapped her shoulder. She jerked out of her reverie and blinked at him.  
  
"Oh, Shin-san, I'm sorry. You were saying?" Mamori replied automatically.  
  
Shin's eyebrows went up. "What is wrong?"  
  
Mamori blinked again and then sighed. "I'm sorry, Seijuuro. I was thinking about Hiruma and the game. I've never skipped a game before. I've never shirked my responsibilities to go on a date. Of course, I've never been on a date thanks to that mad man. You know, he's completely _dominated_ my life for the past four years? And for what? For amefuto! Not for me! Now, he up and goes out of his way to confuse me because I'm finally getting a life of my own. I'm so… I'm so sick of him!" Mamori exclaimed angrily, punching the metal wall. She winced and cradled her hand. "That was stupid…" Mamori admonished herself wearily.  
  
Shin reached over, grasped her hand, and rubbed her red knuckles gently, making Mamori blush. Shin wasn't very good at physical contact, not the intimate kind, anyway. Like the kiss before, the action was more shocking than the actual touch.  
  
"I am… sick of Hiruma, too. He has intentionally made it hard for us to spend time together regularly since we began dating. I, too, have amefuto responsibilities, so I can understand them. However, I do not think Hiruma is without a personal agenda in this."  
  
Mamori shook her head briskly. "Seijuuro, don't think about who that person is, please. I don't want fingers pointed or accusations laid. Not in-season. Believe me, Seijuuro, when I say there's nothing between that person or myself. Hiruma is a control freak, that's the reason he's been acting badly about our relationship. I made it quite clear today that you are important to me, Seijuuro. So don't worry about it."  
  
She smiled up at him and squeezed his bigger hand with her smaller ones. As her blue eyes gazed earnestly into his, he felt that same emotion from the riverbank. Not the angry one. The really… happy one. He cupped her face with his free hand. A flush bloomed over her cheeks as his thumb brushed her lips.  
  
"I am happy with you, Mamori. When you smile, I want to smile. When you are sad, I do not get sad with you, but I get angry and I want whatever is making you unhappy to end. I want to protect you. It is a very strange feeling," Shin told her, puzzlement in his face and tone. Mamori giggled softly.  
  
"It means you like me, Seijuuro, and that I'm important to you. Just as I feel for you."  
  
"No. I do not think it is only 'liking.' I like Takami and Sakuraba. I like Sena and Riku. I do not like you. This is a completely different feeling. There is more of it." Seijuuro frowned as he tried to explain. Mamori's eyes began to widen in shock. "When Sena went to America, I was happy for him. It was an amazing opportunity. When Takami and Wakana began to date, I did not quite understand, but I knew they were happy, and I was glad for it. If you were to leave, I would not be happy for you. When you told me that you kissed someone else, someone you loved, that hurt as much as you walking away from me did. I do not like the idea of you wanting to be with someone else, or… loving someone else."  
  
"Seijuuro, I…" She ground to a halt, unable to think of anything to say as words jumbled in her mind. _Don't say it. Please, don't say it, Seijuuro,_ she begged.  
  
"Mamori… am I in love with you?" He asked, his baffled dark eyes looking deep into hers. "I think I am."  
  
"I can't tell you that, Seijuuro," Mamori whispered, reeling under his gentle touch.  
  
"Can I kiss you again, Mamori?"  
  
She briefly warred with herself. To kiss him now would have so many more implications. It would be accepting this greater feeling from him. This would be a bigger, more definite step than just snapping her phone shut on Hiruma's anger. This would be taking a step so big away from Hiruma, that it would hurt too many hearts to step back. It would be stepping towards a new future, a new goal, a new… love.  
  
Her blue eyes glanced up into Shin's black ones. He gazed silently at her with dark eyes astonished and… a little frightened. He seemed to be battling with himself as well. Those feelings he'd never had were whirling through him and confusing him to point of mild fear. She didn't want him to be scared of love. Of feeling. Her heart lurched in her chest and she wanted to pull him close to her, she wanted to kiss away his fear and make the smile soften his face again. She _wanted_ to, not from pity, but because kissing him, holding him, felt right. So… maybe loving him would be right, too.  
  
"Yes," she breathed. "You can kiss me, Seijuuro-kun."  
  
His smooth lips pressed against hers, suffusing her in sweet, soft warmth. He was better at it this time, a quick learner. His lips automatically slanted over hers to fit them closer together, his mouth surer as their lips moved, tasting breath and skin. She squeaked slightly as he pulled her against his chest, wrapping her in his arms. Her hands splayed over his chest, enjoying the heavy beating and the wide expanse of his muscles. Hesitantly, as they pulled away just a hair's breadth, she tasted his bottom lip with her tongue.  
  
He paused, stiff and heavy-handed, and she wondered if she had moved too fast. What if he became so confused, he spent the last of their moments together pondering it? He'd done something like that before. Or what if, God forbid, he was repulsed by it?  
  
Then his lips curved over hers, albeit slower and more hesitant. Wet, slick heat traced her bottom lip in a shy, mirror action of hers. Her arms wrapped around his neck, pulling herself closer, and their embrace was suddenly deeper and hungrier than she had ever expected. He tasted like granola (his snack of choice) and she tasted like sugar and cake. They were melting into each other, tongues twisting in a heated dance, both pulling from one another a heat they never saw. In the back of Mamori's mind, there was relief- relief that maybe, just maybe, someone could fill that impossibly large Hiruma-sized hole in her life. Shin felt only amazement and an abrupt, aching need that seemed to correlate to the gentle swell of her body's curves pressing against his own sturdy frame.  
  
As the ride came to a jolting stop, revealing one red-faced young woman and a shell-shocked young man, Mamori pushed desperately against an intrusive thought.  
  
 _What will happen when I see_ him _again?_


	4. Just A Kiss

Just a Little  
  
Chapter Four  
  
Just a Kiss  
  
Sunday night ended all too fast. Not only was it an exceedingly fun night, with Shin coming over to her apartment and singing karaoke and playing racing games with Sena, Seno, Monta, Tomoe, and Suzuna, but Monday morning was looming before her. As she walked to Saikyoudai from the subway station, Mamori sighed softly. How was she going to be able to face the boys and Junko-chan after leaving them in the lurch like that? No warning or anything. It was still impossible to believe that Saikyoudai had a scheduled game that she couldn't remember. She had meant to look it up as soon as she got home, but when Suzuna had dragged Shin inside to play, Mamori had gotten too wrapped up herself having fun.  
  
 _Imagine me, choosing fun and boys over responsibility! I need to get my act together- quickly. I'll apologize to the team first thing,_ Mamori decided stoutly, nodding her head with a firm frown.  
  
Thinking about fun and boys, however, brought to mind her particular boy and she blushed heavily, remembering their good bye last night. The kiss on the Ferris Wheel seemed to unlock a completely different side of Shin and Mamori had realized, as she had wobbled her weak-kneed self to her bedroom after their good nights, that she was definitely enjoying it. Shin was definitely a genius, and not only academically or sports-wise. Once he got the grasp of a concept, he excelled at it. Kissing him was becoming a really fun, exciting experience. She giggled, giddiness tightening in her chest.  
  
"Sachiko-chan and Motoko-chan won't believe it when I tell them." Mamori chuckled under her breath.  
  
She reached the practice field at Saikyoudai a good thirty minutes early and her nerves abruptly returned seeing a few of the players already out on the field. A quick, involuntary, scan revealed no Hiruma and her shoulders relaxed. She knew she was going to have to soon, but she was glad it would take a little longer. She hurried down the steps, her pleated skirt flapping around her thighs.  
  
"Mamori-chan! You're early today!" Yamabushi cried happily, wiping sweat from his eyes.  
  
"We haven't seen you at a morning practice in over a week. We're glad you're back, Mamori-neechan." Ikkyou added, blushing slightly.  
  
Mamori smiled happily. "Thank you for being so kind and welcoming. I was sure you all would be angry with me for yesterday!"  
  
Yamabushi and Ikkyou glanced at each other as a few other first year players blinked in puzzlement.  
  
"What do you mean, Mamori-chan? We usually don't have practices on Sundays." Yamabushi replied slowly.  
  
Mamori's world froze and a loud crack sounded in her head. "The g-game… y-yesterday… the one I forgot and I refused to come to…?"  
  
"We didn't have a game yesterday. Our next game isn't until _this Saturday_."  
  
The crack splintered into thousands of cracks and fire roared around her.  
  
"I WILL KILL HIM! WHERE IS HE?" She shrieked, eyes glaring red at Yamabushi. Everyone cowered.  
  
"I-If you m-mean H-Hiruma-san, h-he's in the locker r-room." Ikkyou stammered, sweating profusely.  
  
She gripped her book-bag like a club and stormed towards the locker room, the ground thudding under her as her aura roared.  
  
"Uh… let's warn everyone not to follow…" Yamabushi muttered as more team members came down the stairs.  
  
"G-Good idea." Ikkyou agreed fervently.  
  
The locker room door opened with a loud, resounding slam as Mamori pushed it open. She glared across the room at Hiruma, who had looked up, blowing a gum bubble nonchalantly and typing away on his laptop.  
  
"How. Dare. You. Lie. To. Me." Mamori hissed, each word like a snap in the air between them. She stepped into the room and let the door swing slowly shut, as if in protest of her cruel treatment towards it.  
  
"I just felt like it." Hiruma shrugged, returning his attention to the computer.  
  
"You turn that confounded laptop off or I'll break it." Mamori growled. "You're going to give me your full attention _right now_!" She stomped up to his knees and glared down at him, fists on her hips. His narrow green eyes flashed up to hers.  
  
"Do you really want to try me, Mamori?"  
  
Mamori closed her eyes and pushed away the shudder. _Damn it, aren't I over that yet? Seijuuro, remember Seijuuro and the kiss last night and on the Ferris Wheel._ Feeling a little calmer and without Hiruma-induced shudders to annoy her further, she open her eyes again. They glowed with fierce, blue fire.  
  
"Yes, Hiruma, I do. Do you really want to try me? I am not scared of you." She retorted harshly. "What you did was out of line! I take my responsibilities seriously and you deliberately tried to use that against me. I. Am. Dating. Seijuuro. STOP TRYING TO INTERFERE!" She screamed angrily. Seeing his gaze still on the computer screen, she slammed it shut, his hands just barely getting out the way in time. "If you treat me with any further disrespect, I will formally resign as your manager. I am not joking, Hiruma!"  
  
Hiruma set his laptop in his bag, sighed softly, and then got to his feet, making Mamori step back. She quickly straightened her spine and refused to give into the urge to step back further.  
  
"You know exactly why I made that phone call yesterday." Hiruma replied without anger. His gaze met hers and she felt some of her anger ebb seeing the serious, dark eyes focus so completely on her. She remembered that long ago day, their first kiss, when his eyes seemed to be waiting for her. She shook her head quickly.  
  
"No, Hiruma. I really don't. All you do is go out of your way to confuse me and trip me up. I don't know where I stand with you or what you want with me. You kiss me and yell at me and lie to me. You say my name, and then call me horrible names. You curse and compliment. All this time, I've been trying to read deeper, but sometimes I can't help but feel you're leading me on a goose chase. Why did you lie to me, Hiruma? And why did you kiss me?" Mamori finally sighed, training her own gaze on the wall. She didn't want to see that look from him. Not now. Didn't he know it was too late to look at her like that?  
  
"I wanted to hear you choose."  
  
"Choose what?" She snapped, glaring up at him again. "Between Seijuuro and my responsibility to the team, or between you and him? Stop jerking me around, Hiruma! Stop playing your stupid little games! Either you say what you truly what from me or just leave me alone!"  
  
"What about what you want?" Hiruma countered. He reached out to grip her biceps, tugging her against him. Her heart thudded painfully, the feel of his slender, muscled form pressing to her. She looked up at him, confused.  
  
"Hiruma, why won't you just answer me honestly?" She begged softly, breaking down at last.  
  
His lips fell over hers and her eyes squeezed shut, fighting back the pain of his silence. She wanted to cry. Even after Shin's confession, even after his kiss, she still wanted this. She still wanted Hiruma. She could feel her heart breaking as his lips pulled away from hers.  
  
"You're supposed to be mine, not his. You want me, and not him." Hiruma muttered, staring down at her face.  
  
 _And now it's officially broken, my poor heart._ Mamori thought to herself.  
  
"I want Seijuuro." She replied softly, her eyes still shut tight.  
  
Hiruma's eyes widened, before they narrowed. He knew the next words out of his mouth were going to drive her farther away, but they came seething out like poison anyway. "You just say that because I'm not making it easier for you. You want me to drop down to my knees and beg to you to be my girlfriend or some sappy shit like that."  
  
Fury filled her. The rage from before was nothing to compared to how she felt now. She pulled herself away and her eyes snapped open. "Just what are you getting at, Hiruma?" She seethed in a low, dangerous voice as her blue eyes flashed.  
  
Hiruma glared back, just as furious. "You're only dating Shin because I didn't live up your fucking expectations. You are just choosing second best because you're a fucking coward."  
  
 _SMACK!_  
  
Hard blue eyes stared into surprised green eyes. Surprise quickly became anger as the 'demon from hell' snatched Mamori's slender wrist.  
  
"Didn't I tell you that those fucking involuntary actions were gonna get you killed?" He hissed dangerously.  
  
"It wasn't involuntary this time, you _bastard_." Mamori spat. She yanked her wrist away. "All this… All this time, I've been here with you, at your side. I always thought 'he will soon, one day, he'll say something.' It was so _obvious_ how I felt about you since high school! Within weeks of knowing you!" Mamori voice began to rise as she jabbed his chest with her index finger. "Every intelligent person, _even Sena-kun_ , realized what was between us, even when no words were said, but I was waiting for those words. _And I never got them!_ You think you can throw yourself into my life now that I'm moving on? Shin-kun _cares_ about me! He isn't second best to you or to anybody! He tells me how he feels to best of his ability while you take everything about me for granted: my manager skills, my competence, my friendship, even my feelings for you. I'm not a _fucking coward_ for moving on. You take my _existence_ for granted, Hiruma, Youichi! And I'm sick of it! I need words! I need to know! If you can't give me that, then…" Mamori's stepped back and took a slow, deep breath, closing her eyes. Her eyes opened, more intensely blue than before, as tears began to form. "I deserve better."  
  
She spun her heel.  
  
"Wait…"  
  
She shuddered to a halt and stared sightlessly before her. Tears were already falling thick and fast down her face. Meaningless words were jumbling in her mind and she couldn't even make out what she herself was thinking- there was only confusion. Whatever he said would make or break her and her entire body was dreading it like she was about to jump into an icy swimming pool.  
  
"You're right." His voice whispered. There was a startled gasp, filled with pain and protest, but no words issued. Behind her, Hiruma shoved his hands in his pockets. "I can't say stupid, corny shit that doesn't mean anything. That doesn't mean enough. If you don't understand without words, then there's nothing for you here." She was already gone as he spoke, the door slamming shut behind her.  
  
"Mamori-neechan!" Yamato's voice exclaimed in surprise as she rushed past him.  
  
"Mamori-sempai, where are you going?" Junko cried out. More calls of her name where equally ignored as she ran away, tears streaming down her face.  
  
 _You're right. You're right_.  
  
Mamori sobbed brokenly as she raced through Tokyo, not even caring where her feet were carrying her. Hopefully, there was somewhere safe and loving at the other end. Somewhere, someone, who would never let her down or take her for granted. Who didn't represent the failure of the past four years of her life.  
  
She was gasping for breath outside a beat-down apartment door, sobs racking her slender frame. She raised both hands and dropped against the door, too weak to actually knock. _I'm hyperventilating. I have to calm down. I have to breathe properly. I'll asphyxiate. I don't care. I don't care. PLEASE! Come out!_  
  
"H-Hello? Mamori-neechan? It's kinda early, my class is- Are you all right?" A startled, anxious voice cried out. Strong arms pulled her up and dragged her inside to the couch.  
  
 _When did Sena-kun get so strong?_ Mamori thought stupidly as she sobbed against his shoulder, overcome with relief. For once, she could lean on someone else. For once, Sena would be her knight. There was no one else she wanted right now. No one else who could possibly be by her side right now.  
  
"What happened? Oh, Mamo-neechan, what is it?"  
  
"Suzuna-chan, go grab a bag, a paper bag, and a cold cloth." Sena told her as he rubbed Mamori's back. Suzuna ran off. "It's gonna be all right, Mamori. You'll see. I'll be here for you, always, just like you always were for me. Remember, all those times you helped me out? It's time I returned the favor. It's okay, now, I promise." He murmured against her hair. She nodded mutely, still gasping past her sobs.  
  
Suzuna returned with the bag and wet cloth. Sena handed Mamori the bag to breathe into and then placed the cloth on Mamori's flushed forehead.  
  
"Is there anything else? Do you need me to stay to talk about it?" Suzuna asked, just as worried as Sena. Mamori didn't even seem to notice.  
  
"Suzu-chan, could you make some tea? After that, I think it's best if you leave. If you could call Riku to tell him to avoid coming home for a couple hours, I'd appreciate it. I'll email my teacher later for lecture notes." Sena's eyes met Suzuna's, pleading silently to understand. At first, Suzuna wrenched open her mouth, offended to be pushed aside, but she bit down on her lip quickly seeing Sena's expression. Her gaze fell on Mamori.  
  
The girl with the no-nonsense, down-to-earth attitude. The one who never broke down or cried in front of people. There she sat on Sena's beat up couch, too upset to even care that she had obviously ran through town crying in front of everyone she passed. Too upset to even breathe properly. Running and crying at the same time were never a good idea, but she, the ultimate pragmatist, had done it anyway. Sena was the one person who had known her the longest of anyone in the group- even Riku hadn't been their friend as long as they had been each other's.  
  
"Sure, Sena. I'll text him while I pour out the tea." She smiled softly. She covered her lips with a finger, winked at him, and then walked quickly away, pulling out her cell.  
  
A few minutes later, tea sat on the coffee table, steam wafting gently above the porcelain rims and Suzuna had long gone. Mamori finally raised her tear-stained face from Sena's shoulder and pressed the cold cloth to her puffy eyes.  
  
"I'm s-sorry, Sena-kun. I didn't even choose to come here, I just did." Mamori whispered softly. Sena panted her back awkwardly.  
  
"It's fine, Mamori. I wasn't just saying stuff for no reason earlier. You've helped me through so much, I'm glad you came to me, even if all you wanna do is cry. It's a little weird to see you like this, but you're one of my best friends."  
  
"I guess it is a little weird, huh?" Mamori chuckled without humor and let the cloth drop from her eyes. She rested her hands on her lap and twisted the cloth in her fists.  
  
"Do you want some tea? Suzuna-chan made some before she left." Sena pointed out. Mamori blinked owlishly.  
  
"Suzu-chan was here?"  
  
"Uh… yeah…" Sena answered with a slightly blue face. _She was as bad as that?_  
  
"I didn't even notice. I need to apologize to her. To you, as well. I'm making you miss class, aren't I?" Mamomri muttered picking up her cup.  
  
"No, Mamori-neechan, don't apologize. It's just a freshman seminar. It'll be fine. The professor doesn't even take attendance." Sena said firmly. "Suzuna also understands that sometimes even Mamori-neechan can't be perfect. It's all right."  
  
Mamori blinked again and smiled softly. "You're becoming such a man, Sena-kun. I'm proud of you, very much so." Sena blushed and scratched the back of his neck, embarrassed.  
  
"Um, Mamori-neechan?" Sena slowly spoke up as Mamori sipped her tea. She looked over at him with raised brows in question. "Did you and… Shin-san… break up… maybe?"  
  
Mamori set her cup down, shaking her head. "No. We're doing fine. He may be upset with me later, but it was different this time. I hope he'll forgive me again." She whispered, touching the rim of her cup with her fingertip.  
  
"It's Hiruma, isn't it?" Sena said, his question more a statement in its certainty. Mamori glanced at him in surprise. "I saw Musashi-san looking worried when you and Shin-san first had a date at that party, and he was worried about Hiruma-san's reaction. Yamato also told me that you skipped a whole week worth of practices after being alone with Hiruma-san. If… if you n-need m-me t-to, I'll t-t-talk t-to him." Sena stuttered, his whole body trembling with the idea of facing Hiruma head-on. Mamori smiled, knowing that if Sena made up his mind, he would do it, even if he were terrified the entire time.  
  
"No, Sena-kun. Thank you, but I took care of it. I'm posting my resignation this afternoon. I can't deal with Hiruma anymore." Her blue eyes dropped to the coffee table, but no tears formed this time. No more crying over Hiruma. "Even if Seijuuro-kun doesn't forgive me this time, I just can't be with Hiruma anymore. It hurts too much now." Her fingers curled into fists and dropped to her lap again. "I love him so much, Sena-kun. He's such a horrible, foul-mouthed _bastard_ , but I love him so much. Not even those words are enough to explain just how much I feel for him."  
  
She gritted her teeth and squeezed her eyes shut tight as her shoulders shook. "All these years, I kept thinking that I didn't need words. I _knew_ he felt the same for me. Then, Seijuuro came and he was kind and gentle and forgiving and sweet. He was like a knight, and I couldn't help it. I wanted the words. I wanted to hear it! When I was with Seijuuro, it was like being freed from heavy chains. He was just so honest and good. This entire time, I've been falling in love with him, but it's nothing like what I feel for Hiruma. There's this huge empty hole in my heart now that I've ended it. I should be glad and ecstatic to be free from such a self-inflicting painful relationship. But it's like giving up an addiction- it hurts more being without him." Mamori choked on her sudden inhale of breath and bit down on her lip, her whole body trembling. "I just need to get him out of my system for good." She forced out desperately.  
  
Sena stared at her, eyes wide and startled. His face softened and he touched her hand gently. She glanced at him, astonished at the serious, concentrated frown on his face. "When I came back from America, I thought you two, you and Hiruma, I mean, were together." Mamori bit her lip and looked away. "I remember thinking that you guys were so different, but maybe that's what made you so suited for each other.  
  
"But… then I saw you with Shin-san and I couldn't help but be glad you were with him. Hiruma-san… he's not very good to people. He tries, but there's a part of him that just separates himself. I thought maybe you at least had broken it down, but, now, I don't think Hiruma-san wants those defenses to fall. I don't think he _can_. I think there's a hurt inside him that he doesn't want anybody to see. If he can't trust you with his pain, then it's better to be with Shin-san, because Shin-san _can't_ hide anything. And I know he'd never hurt you in the way that Hiruma-san can. I just want Mamori-neechan to be happy, and you're happy with Shin-san in a way you weren't with Hiruma-san."  
  
He blushed and scratched his cheek. "I'm sorry if I went to too far and said too much…"  
  
"No, Sena-kun. You said everything I needed to hear." Mamori protested softly. She leaned over and wrapped Sena in a tight hug. He blushed brightly, but returned it, squeezing a little harder than normal. "I love you, Sena-kun. Thank you so much."  
  
"I love you, too, Mamori-neechan. I'm glad that you felt you could rely on me." Sena replied.  
  
Mamori trudged down the sidewalk late that afternoon. There was one more class that she could technically make it to, even now, but she decided to go for some cream puffs and head over to Ojou Univ. There was so much that needed to be said and she didn't want to put it off very long. Besides, she wasn't sure she could face Hiruma just yet. So, she continued trudging wearily to the train station.  
  
Around five o' clock in the evening, she was waiting at Ojou's entrance gate. Because she didn't like the idea of Shin getting up at four o' clock in the morning for extra practice, she had convinced him to do his usual after-school practice. With games right around the corner, she knew he had been rather relieved. Practice was critical right now. She smiled softly, leaning back against the cement pillar. _Hiruma is probably running the team ragged right now.  
_  
She sighed.  
  
"Anezaki-chan?" Sakuraba's voice called out in surprise. She stiffened in shock, having forgotten where she was, and turned around to see Sakuraba, Shin, and Otawara.  
  
"It's the pretty girl. Hey, did you bring me cake this time?" Otawara exclaimed, grinning. Mamori smiled sadly.  
  
"I'm sorry, Otawara-kun, I completely forgot. I can bring some to the game this weekend for you, though."  
  
"This weekend? Saikyoudai has a game with-" Shin began in confusion.  
  
"I know. I remember quite well. I did memorize the entire roster, you know. I am officially resigning from my position as Saikyoudai's team manager." Mamori interrupted with a small shrug. "It wasn't worth the… the pressure." Her smile faltered and she glanced down to the ground. "Could I have a word with you in private, Seijuuro-kun? It won't take long." She glanced at Sakuraba to make sure it was all right.  
  
"It's cool. We were just heading to the dorms, anyway. We'll see you at dinner, right, Shin?" Sakuraba quickly replied.  
  
Shin nodded silently as Sakuraba slapped his back.  
  
"Arigatou." Mamori bowed to both Otawara and Sakuraba as they walked past.  
  
"No problem, Anezaki-chan."  
  
"Yeah, we don't mind at all. We see Shin too much already!" Otawara joked.  
  
As they turned a corner out of sight, Shin met Mamori's eyes. She bit her lip and looked away. "Would you like to go somewhere else to talk? We could go to the bleachers to sit down." Shin offered.  
  
Mamori paused, then, shook her head. "No…"  
  
"What happened? You have been crying." Shin noted in a gentle, calm voice. She tensed in guilt, hearing the worry.  
  
"You're not going to like what I have to tell you." Mamori told him quietly.  
  
Shin frowned intently, looking at her face. "I believe it is something I need to hear, though. Am I correct?" Mamori nodded silently. "I will listen with as open mind as is possible. You do not have to be afraid of telling me the truth, Mamori."  
  
Mamori glanced up at him, eyes filled with guilt. She took a deep breath and looked away again. She just couldn't face him this time.  
  
"I let him kiss me again. I resigned from the team, but it was more because I just couldn't handle it anymore. I couldn't handle all those feelings and confusions and mistakes. It wasn't a real kiss, it was more a good bye, I knew as soon as it happened that I had already made my decision, but I did let it happen." She took a deep breath. "And if he had said the right thing, instead of all the wrong things, I may have hurt you more than I'm doing now. I… I like being with you, and I've ended whatever there was between me and him, but you deserve someone… someone… who can love you better." She touched her forehead with her fingertips. "That came out so jumbled. I'm sorry."  
  
Silence answered her. A slight breeze plucked at her skirt and played with the ends of her hair before she finally managed to raise her eyes to meet his dark, brooding gaze.  
  
"Just what did you decide?" Shin asked quietly. Mamori blinked once.  
  
"That I wanted you, Seijuuro-kun. I want to be with you, because being with you doesn't hurt. Being with you makes me happy instead of angry or sad or confused. Last night…" She broke off, blushing. "When we first started dating, I never thought we'd get this far, that I'd feel so much about you. I never thought anyone could come so close to being as important as him in my heart. But you did."  
  
Shin stepped forward and placed a large hand on her shoulder. "So you choose me this time? Completely? No going back?"  
  
Mamori gazed up into his face, eyes wide. She let Hiruma's words and all the memories of him, the feeling so big in her heart that was empty without him, run through her mind, and then saw Seijuuro's face looking calmly at her, waiting.  
  
"No going back." She replied softly. Seijuuro's hand squeezed slightly, before he turned his head and cleared his throat.  
  
"Do you think… do you think you could… love me?" He muttered.  
  
Mamori's eyes widened. Slowly, she broke into a wide smile and laid her hand over his. "I'm already falling for you, silly."  
  
He glanced back and her and his small, soft smile curved his lips. With a quick movement that stole her breath, his arms wrapped around her waist and swept her up off her feet to swing her around, making her laugh aloud.  
  
"Seijuuro, stop! Wait, I'm getting dizzy!" Mamori exclaimed in protest, still laughing.  
  
He slowed down his spinning and held her aloft, looking up into her grinning face.  
  
"This is a really incredible feeling, Mamori. I have never felt… _happy_ like this." Shin's face became serious as her blue eyes widened. "You won't regret your choice. I promise."  
  
Mamori wrapped her arms around his neck. "Is that a deal?" She whispered.  
  
"Yes."  
  
"Then… we should seal it with a kiss."  
  
He pulled her down closer, pressing his mouth to hers, making her chest tighten and her heart beat loudly. For that single, happy moment, the emptiness seemed a lot smaller. She told herself that one day, Shin would be able to fill it.


	5. Need A Little

Just a Little  
  
Chapter Five  
  
Need A Little  
  
The months flew by, summer becoming fall and the start of the new football season. Rice Bowl was looming on the horizon and Mamori spent the months as far from Saikyoudai's football field as possible. Occasionally, one of the team members would seek her out during lunch breaks and she'd laugh and joke with them as usual, but when they all separated, she couldn't help but feel relieved.  
  
It was hard being with them. The entire time she would turn her head or glance out the corner of her eye… and remember Hiruma wouldn't be there…  
  
It hurt. It hurt so much. It was like she had lost a limb and she couldn't help but think it was still there- a phantom pain she tried desperately to ignore. The emptiness, that gaping hole inside her, had never filled. It felt bigger each day, consuming her. She was finding it hard to concentrate on what people were saying, and then began finding it hard to care. She would hide away for hours in the library or in her apartment bedroom studying. Being with Seijuuro was the all relief she had from the pain. He was like a patch on her heart. Everything had clearer focus, her laughter wasn't so forced, and her joy wasn't so fake. She could taste cream puffs when she ate them at Seijuuro's side. Without him, everything tasted like sand.  
  
Each day, however, was harder. The patch was beginning to fray at the edges and she could feel it happening. She had spent so much time with Seijuuro, tightening the threads, depending on him for every emotion, she knew it was a matter of time before he would notice. A matter of time before she had to face up to it. It was all beginning to crumble.  
  
She loved Seijuuro. But damn if she didn't _need_ that Commander from Hell.  
  
Sachiko and Motoko were getting worried more now. Calling her more, texting more. Suzuna, Tomoe, and Mitsuki were walking on eggshells and trying to pretend like they weren't. Sena spent more and more time at her apartment keeping a wary, nervous eye on her.  
  
Mamori sighed.  
  
 _I'm causing everyone so much worry. I'm only causing myself pain._ Her mouth twisted down and her blue eyes were dull. _But what can I do? I wish… I could just leave. Like Juumonji-kun. Leave everything far behind for a while and come back… stronger. How did this happen to me? How did I fall in love with you so much, Hiruma, that there isn't a way to forget… or move on?_  
  
"Mamori, hey, you awake?" Motoko's soft voice whispered. Mamori jolted and looked up.  
  
"H-Hai, but… you're not in my class. How… when?"  
  
"Sachiko and I have been waiting for you in the cafeteria for fifteen minutes. I got worried and came to find you. Mamori, your class ended thirty minutes ago." Motoko told her worriedly. Mamori gasped and grabbed at her bags.  
  
"I am so sorry. I didn't even realize. Thank goodness there isn't another class after this one. I didn't even notice the time. I am so, so sorry, Motoko."  
  
"It's fine, Mamori." Motoko paused as Mamori clipped the latch on her bag. "Mamori… are you okay?" She finally forced out slowly.  
  
Mamori's fingers slipped on her purse. "Motoko, I'm fine. I just studied a bit too much for that last exam. Let's go." Mamori smiled widely, without the usual glow. Motoko followed her out the door, biting down on her lip hard.  
  
"Mamori, look, if you need to talk about it, Sachiko and I will listen. We love you, Mamori. We're worried. Please, talk to us." Motoko pressed desperately. Mamori opened her mouth to reply breezily, but the words stuck in her throat.  
  
Motoko saw Mamori's fair skin pale even further, until she looked almost grey. Mamori's blue eyes glanced to the floor and back up the hall, her lips curving up into that fake, shine-less smile. Motoko followed her gaze and her own brown eyes widened. Yamato, Agon, and Hiruma were walking down the hall.  
  
 _Oh, damn. This is the science wing! Mamori is taking her last science course this semester! Sachiko and I didn't even think about that!_ Motoko thought in panic as the young men neared.  
  
"Mamori-neechan! I haven't seen you in ages! How are you?" Yamato cried out happily, his confidence oozing from his wide grin and covering up the tension.  
  
"You look like shit." Agon muttered under his breath. He grunted when Yamato slammed his elbow, hard, into Agon's ribs.  
  
"Don't listen to the misogynistic bastard, Mamori-neechan. You look as beautiful as always." Yamato assured her quickly as Mamori glanced to the floor, then, looked back up into Yamato's calm gaze.  
  
"Good afternoon, you guys. I've been keeping track of the scores. You're doing great. I bet you'll win Rice Bowl this year. Enma lost to Takekura last weekend." Mamori managed to say it all calmly, with a small smile on her face, though her eyes were locked with Yamato and didn't waver at all.  
  
"It is looking good." Yamato agreed. He turned his gaze on Motoko, who was blushing brightly as she gazed up at Yamato's face. Meeting his gaze, she blushed further and barely kept from squeaking in surprise. "Yano, Motoko, senior year. I've seen you with Mamori-neechan before."  
  
"Uh, yeah- I mean, yes. Do you happen to… to know Sena-kun? You use the same nickname…" Motoko blurted, blushing brightly.  
  
Yamato laughed.  
  
"Hey, class starts in five. We have to go." Hiruma interrupted brusquely. Mamori flinched, so minutely that Motoko almost missed it.  
  
"Right. We'll see you later." Yamato waved to them both, Agon merely raised an eyebrow, and Hiruma was already walking away.  
  
Motoko nudged Mamori forward, the blushing friend smiling behind a curtain of brown hair. "C'mon, Mamori, Sachiko is still waiting." The two stepped forward as well.  
  
As they passed the group of guys, Mamori felt her eyes drag towards him like a magnet. She couldn't even control the movement. She was looking, desperate for just one glance after months without one. Green met blue. Then, slid past to the opposite ends of the hallway. Two pairs of feet slowed, scraping over tile, until they stopped. Agon and Yamato were arguing good-naturedly and Motoko was grinning like a loon, so their friends didn't notice at first. Mamori turned her head slightly, her hair sliding over her shoulder. Time had slowed, the world ebbing into silence. She could hear her hair slid over her sweater, strands catching on the weave.  
  
"Mamori, let's go! Sachiko-chan is going to be angry." Motoko exclaimed. Mamori's shoulders tensed and she turned back to Motoko.  
  
"Un. Coming." Mamori murmured. She jogged to reach Motoko's side as, behind her, Hiruma began walking again.  
  
Listening to her footsteps fade down the hall, Hiruma continued towards the classroom in silence. Seeing her out of the blue, in a situation he hadn't planned out ahead time, it was excruciating. He had her schedule memorized perfectly. He knew the chances of seeing her in this hall were slim, and he'd made them slimmer on purpose, waiting until just five minutes to the beginning of class to get there. He never wanted to see her again.  
  
So, how the hell did it happen?  
  
He felt the weakness. The heaviness of his own Achilles' Heel inside his chest. A curvy, brunette with blue eyes had managed to turn him into a sissy. He should have been glad, leaping with joy, in fact, that she had torn herself out of his life for good. On a daily basis, he told himself those very words.  
  
It didn't stop him from missing her every moment. Each breath tore in his throat as if they were made of glass. Sleep was impossible. The smell of coffee reminded him of her scent that day in the locker room, reminded him of her taste and the feel of her body against his. He should have tossed all his supply in the trash and switched to fucking tea. Instead, a pot was always boiling while he lay on his couch in whatever hotel he was in at the moment and he remembered. It was sick, but he couldn't stop. He forced himself to work harder at his studies, push harder at practice, like he could sweat and headache her out of his mind. If it wasn't for the damn coffee.  
  
He was smart enough to know that cutting into his own flesh wouldn't bleed her out of him, but sometimes he was morbid enough to think about trying. He wanted to rip something open. Blow something up. Set something on fire. Then, he would remember the look on her face as she used his flamethrower on "Riceman."  
  
He was losing what sanity he had, teetering on the edge of full-scale war on the whole fucking world. He _needed_ her back in his life.  
  
Hell would freeze over before he admitted it, though.  
  
Entering class and finding his seat moments later, he popped a large gum bubble and leaned back in his chair, ready to ignore whatever the professor had to say and catch a few, uneasy minutes of sleep.  
  
Mamori continued walking with Motoko to the cafeteria, glad that Yamato's appearance had distracted her friend from her earlier line of questioning. Seeing him again, it was as if every knot and tension in her body had faded, like drinking hot tea after a long day. As soon as he walked out of her sight, all the pain came tumbling back until she was numb with it.  
  
It was becoming so easy to be numb.  
  
She drifted through the rest of her day, working on homework not due for another two weeks and chatting aimlessly with Motoko and Sachiko after classes. Promptly at five thirty, she was across town at Ojou University, waiting to meet up with Shin like they had planned the day before. She was eager to see him again, eager to taste and feel normally once more. She ignored the disgusted little voice in her mind and waved happily as Shin and his friends approached.  
  
"Anezaki-chan, what's up?" Sakuraba greeted, grinning widely.  
  
"Nothing much. I finished my homework at school, so I'm looking forward to an easy night tonight. Suzuna-chan has a movie she rented she wants to watch with me that I'm looking forward to." Mamori told him pleasantly. She blinked as Shin's hand touched her forehead, a frown on his face. "Seijuuro-kun?"  
  
"You look wan. Have you not been eating or resting enough?" Shin asked bluntly, his eyes tracing the lines on her face that weren't there weeks ago.  
  
"Well, I guess I haven't been eating as much as I used to do. I haven't really been hungry. I'm starving now, though. Do you mind going to WacDonald's with me?" Mamori replied with a breezy laugh.  
  
"I would rather you ate something a little healthier than that. We can eat at my dorm. I can cook something for us." Shin offered instead. Mamori blinked.  
  
"You cook?"  
  
Sakuraba and Otowara laughed uproariously. Shin shrugged.  
  
"When I moved out of my parents, I wanted to make sure I could still eat according to my nutritional layout, so I convinced my mother to teach me. I do not cook often." He explained. Mamori giggled behind her fist.  
  
"I think I would like that."  
  
"Otowara and I are heading to the cafeteria, then. See you guys later!"  
  
"Bye, Mamori-nee!" Otowara waved. Mamori grinned.  
  
"When did he start calling me that?"  
  
"He has been spending a lot of time with Kurita. He probably picked it up from your former classmates." Mamori nodded in agreement. "You have lost a lot of weight, Mamori. Even if you are not hungry, please eat at regular intervals. I feel… worried for you." Shin decided after a few moments of thought. Mamori colored slightly.  
  
"I just… forget sometimes. I'll work on it, though. I'm sorry for worrying you." She reached out and grasped his hand. His fingers tightened around hers with that small, elusive smile on his lips.  
  
"Would beef be all right? You need the protein."  
  
"Anything is fine by me. You're the nutritionist here." Mamori teased, making Shin chuckled quietly. She felt like cheering- it was so hard to get him to smile that any form of laughter was like a victory.  
  
Shin's dorm was massive. It was a boys-only dorm at least five stories high with privates rooms, or two-person rooms, and bathrooms not only spacious, but kept pristine. She walked into the large kitchen with two ovens and two stoves and a large refrigerator. They even had multiple rice cookers of different sizes. Mamori set her bag and purse on the floor in the adjoining dining area. She snuggled down into the nearby armchair as she waited and stared out the wide windows behind her. Fortunately, Shin wasn't much of a talker, so he didn't mind if she chattered on or just steeped in her own thoughts silently. She watched Ojou students wander past the glass and leaves rustle on large, shady trees. Everything felt so quiet and serene. For a few, brief moments, she felt content- at peace. Everything would be all right. Time passed slowly, like sand in an hourglass. The smell of beef and rice pervaded the kitchen and sitting area. It was all so surreal and warm. Maybe that patch over her heart was beginning to strengthen once more.  
  
She heard a movement behind her, the peace shattering like fragile glass, but a soft smile curved her lips automatically. Shin set the plates on the coffee table and sat next to her. His hand brushed her cheekbone gently, his brows lowered in a familiar frown.  
  
"Something is wrong." He stated. Mamori shook her head.  
  
"I was just enjoying the quiet." She insisted. His frown deepened.  
  
"Sometimes… I feel like you are not always here. As if your mind is far away from the present. I am not aiming to complain that you do not pay me enough attention, in fact, sometimes I feel as if you pay me too much. When I look at you, I feel as if something is missing that you used to have. If you are in pain, or sad, Mamori, you can talk to me. I might not be able to solve the problem, but I will listen." Shin informed her, his fingers cupping her face. She blinked rapidly as her eyes stung and her nose felt tight and itchy.  
  
"I'm fine, Seijuuro-kun. Just tired." She reached up to squeeze his hand affectionately before reaching for her food. "Dinner smells great. It seems like you're as good a cook as I am. It even looks good." Mamori complimented him.  
  
He grunted under his breath and reached for his own. As they ate, occasionally talking about their day, Mamori tried her best not to show her sudden panic. Even though she could smell how good it was, even though it was simple food that she had eaten a thousand times before, something was definitely wrong with it.  
  
Everything tasted like sand.  
  
Snow was on the ground and Rice Bowl fervor was heavy in the air. The semifinals had just ended a few weeks ago and finals were the next night. In the middle of Tokyo late in the afternoon, Mamori huddled in a small circle with Suzuna, Seno, and Tomoe, all holding hot, buttered sweet potatoes and watching Ojou and Saikyoudai fans make huge snowmen of the mascots. It had sort of become a tradition that had been copied from the Christmas Bowl years ago.  
  
"It's so exciting. Saikyoudai made it to the Rice Bowl." Seno whispered softly, her eyes sad and dark, though a gentle smile curved her chapped lips. Tomoe frowned at her friend. "Last year… last year I thought I'd share this moment with him." She whispered even quieter. "I'll cheer for his team, even if he isn't here to hear. Even if he'll never know or care."  
  
"Mitcchi-chan, come on! Don't be so friggin' melancholy. It's been months since he'd emailed. Just make it official with Rikkun and get over that jerk." Tomoe snapped angrily. Seno grinned at her long time best friend.  
  
"Speaking of Rikkun, the others are waiting for us at the restaurant. We'll be late to the reservation if we wait any longer." Seno pointed out simply. She took a small bite of sweet, yellow potato fluff and starting trudging through snow up to her shins.  
  
"It's hard to believe he would just stop emailing without warning, though. Monjii-kun isn't like that." Suzuna murmured before chomping into her potato pensively.  
  
Mamori blew on her potato to cool it. "Just drop it." She said quietly. Both Suzuna and Tomoe glanced at each other with chagrined grimaces.  
  
"Sorry…" They muttered under their breath. Seno shrugged.  
  
"I know you're saying these things because you care about me, so I'm not offended." Seno replied.  
  
"Mitcchan, would you mind walking with me to the vending machines over there?" Mamori suggested after a moment's silence. She pointed across the street. "You girls don't have to wait up, though. We'll be right behind you."  
  
Suzuna and Tomoe once again exchanged glances, baffled ones this time. Seno glanced up at Mamori, a little startled, but not totally surprised.  
  
"Uh, sure, Mamo-nee." Suzuna agreed. "We'll see you there."  
  
Mamori and Seno hurried across the street to the vending machines outside the convenience store sitting there. Seno watched Mamori silently as the older woman fumbled with her purse because her yarn mittens made it awkward and inserted change to get a pack of sugarless gum. Mamori stooped to get it from the shelf, then, tossed it into the garbage can nearby.  
  
"Do you do that every time you pass this vending machine?" Seno asked curiously.  
  
"Every time I pass one with that kind of gum." Mamori corrected quietly. Seno let out a small "ah" of understanding and took another bite of sweet potato.  
  
Together, they stood in the softly falling snow, ignoring the occasional passerby. Their coats and mittens and eyelashes were dusted with thick, fluffy snowflakes, making them blink rapidly to clear the blurs. As Seno watched a snowflake melt into the golden butter on her potato, Mamori cleared her throat.  
  
"Are you all right?" Mamori finally asked. Seno smiled.  
  
"No."  
  
Mamori nodded. "You can say anything you need to, you know."  
  
"I do know." Seno replied. She glanced up, watching the snow fall directly onto her cold face. "I miss him more every day. I thought, when the shock wore off and I first realized he really wasn't going to contact me anymore, that the pain was normal and soon enough, like all pain, it would fade with time. It hasn't faded though. I've just got used to living with it. Tomoe-chan tells me to just start dating Riku-kun, because he cares about me, and I care about him, too. He makes me laugh and is very sweet to me. I respect and admire him and he goes to my school. There are so many reasons to date him and give up on the man I may never see again and who, apparently, wants nothing to do with me anymore. I can't. I love Kazuki-senpai so much that the idea of being with someone else in the way I was with him, I feel… nothing. No excitement, no nausea, no fear, just nothing. I could never date someone else feeling like that."  
  
Seno shuddered to a stop, closing her eyes tight. "Oh, God, I miss him so much. Maybe it was stupid to… to…well…but I don't regret it like you said I would. It's more like… I have that memory, that beautiful memory where I was closer to him than I've been with anybody else, and it hurts so much that I can't even wish I didn't have it. I'm glad I have it. I'm glad I hurt. Because it means what we had for those moments was real. Being with him, being loved by him, and loving him, they _weren't_ a dream."  
  
Mamori reached over and wrapped her arm around Seno's shoulders.  
  
"You don't cry anymore, do you?"  
  
Seno shook her head. "Sometimes… I feel like I have to. Like, if I don't, I'll spill over and sob like that first time. But then, I realize if I do cry again, I'll make the _pain_ be just like the first time. Like tearing open a wound that finally finished healing. So I just… keep moving."  
  
"If you ever have to, you can call me, and we'll go do something stupid. Even more stupid than having sex with your boyfriend because he's leaving for a different _island_ ," Mamori teased. Seno burst into laughter, her face bright red hearing the word she couldn't manage before said so bluntly.  
  
"That'll be hard to top."  
  
"We'll think of something."  
  
They both laughed together, their breath puffs of white vapor in the chilly air. As their chuckles ebbed, they clutched the remains of their sweet potatoes in their cold hands and watched cars slowly trek through the snow. Seno took a deep, slow, chilly breath. Her grey eyes arted upt o Mamori's face behind wide, round glasses.  
  
"Mamori-neechan, are you all right?" Seno felt Mamori stiffen. "We can all tell you're having trouble coping. It's only a matter of time before Shin-san realizes it. If he hasn't noticed already."  
  
Mamori glanced towards the trashcan where she'd thrown the pack of unopened gum. She walked over and grabbed it from the top. The snow had covered the trash beneath, so the shiny box lay pristine on a thick layer of snow. She turned the gum over in her hand, smirking wryly.  
  
"Trouble coping? That's the understatement of the year, Mitsuki." Mamori left off the nickname, as if unable to be playful even in habit. "I'm having trouble with everything, let alone _coping_. Sometimes, I have to remember to breathe," Mamori admitted in disgust.  
  
"Mamori, you obviously care about Shin-san. Why isn't he enough?" Seno asked, looking rather horrified at her own daring.  
  
"I don't know." Mamori muttered. "He should be. I just… I don't know!" Mamori threw the gum packet to the ground, her words tearing through the snowy hush. "He was such a bastard! Expecting the impossible, giving almost nothing back. Three kisses, that's it! That's all we ever shared for _five damn years_! There were no dates, no holding hands, no _honesty_. Any _connection_ I thought existed between was just a thought, just a suspicion. I had no proof, no evidence, that I wasn't just his free slave labor. All he says to me is 'you're right!' He tore my heart into tiny pieces, so why isn't Seijuuro enough?" Mamori snarled, stamping on the pack of gum with the heel of her boot viciously. She bent it easily, tore through cellophane and thin cardboard and cheap foil, cracking frozen gum and grinding it into the snow. She created chaos in the midst of pristine white order of the snowy pavement. It felt good to destroy that perfection.  
  
"I want to hate him! You have no idea, Mitsuki, just how much I want to hate that evil, manipulative bastard!" She kicked at the gum. Snow flew up into the air, glittering like diamonds, before falling with a sound like quiet rain back to the ground.  
  
Seno crumpled the skin of the potato and the foil wrapping and tossed it into the trashcan just in front of Mamori. Mamori's blue eyes glanced towards Seno, startled.  
  
"So why don't you?" Seno asked simply. "Hate him. He is pretty manipulative. A whole lot of people will agree he's evil. And scary. What were you thinking, loving him?" Guileless grey eyes stared into wide cerulean.  
  
Mamori stared at Seno breathlessly as tears gathered. She squeezed her eyes tight, breathing deep past gritted teeth, shivering violently as the icy chill entered her lungs.  
  
"I wasn't thinking. I just _did_. I couldn't stop myself, even when I tried. What I feel for him; I don't even have a word to describe it. It's like life doesn't matter without him. I've lost my meaning. I worked harder, I accomplished more, I loved more, and I cared more about everything and anything when I was by his side. Colors were brighter- my emotions were keener- because he was there. God, I had never been that angry before I met him." Mamori laughed humorlessly, passing a limp, cold hands over her eyes. Her teeth gritted together, her fingers gripping the ends of her bangs tightly. "He's this whirlpool of magnetic energy that sucked me in. He became such an important part of my life that, now, I can't even fill up the hole he left behind when I pushed him out."  
  
"But he never returned your feeli-" Seno cut off when Mamori laughed.  
  
"I know he did." Mamori wrapped her arms around her waist and sighed softly.  
  
"But you said…" Seno trailed off in confusion.  
  
"He never _admitted_ them to me, Mitsuki. I knew how he felt, but… Mitsuki, he was scared." She glanced over at Seno and smiled crookedly. "He was scared to admit just how important I was to him. For years, I thought I could live with that, but then I realized I couldn't. What Hiruma and I had… it's difficult to explain. Closest I could compare… maybe, chains." Mamori murmured.  
  
"Chains?" Seno repeated, bewildered.  
  
"With Hiruma, there was so much weight. What he feels for me- that is what he's scared of. It's so heavy, Mitsuki. I think he was scared that it would be too much, that I wouldn't be able to stand it. If he could actually open up and admit just how much he cared about me, it would've been like he was chaining himself to me. That I wouldn't ever get free and neither would he. Maybe, he thought I would panic and would run from that. He never understood how much I needed that weight. I never felt right knowing he was keeping his true feelings from me. I was a little frightened by it, but Hiruma wouldn't be Hiruma if he didn't do everything harder and more complicated than everyone else. Having that weight, knowing he was chained to me, that he wouldn't just disappear because he couldn't handle keeping his feelings to himself, or having the feelings in the first place, it would have been just as much a relief as a burden."  
  
Seno walked over and gripped Mamori's elbow.  
  
"Then…" She stopped, took a deep breath, and met Mamori's eyes. "Then, do you honestly think Shin-san deserves a broken heart? His… or yours?"  
  
Mamori's eyes widened.  
  
"Those kinds of feelings, Mamori, I don't think they will go away. You and Hiruma are deluding yourselves and torturing yourselves. You are going to destroy more than just yourselves before long. You need to let Shin-san go."  
  
Mamori's eyes drooped. "I know. I know I do. I wanted to believe that he could fix me. That loving him would be enough. It was selfish."  
  
"You wanted to try, for both your sakes'. It just didn't work."  
  
"I'm going to wait until after the Rice Bowl. Seijuuro doesn't need this kind of… confession… right before the biggest game of the year. I love him enough to cheer him on this time." Seno nodded.  
  
"Mitsuki! HEY, Mitsuki!" A young man's voice called out.  
  
Seno's head jerked up and she whipped around so fast, she stumbled back and her braid fell from under her woolen cap. She chuckled softly to herself derisively as she caught sight of Riku across the street.  
  
"You guys are going to freeze yourselves to death! Come on! We're waiting for you!" Riku shouted to them.  
  
They glanced at each and smiled encouragingly.  
  
"I guess it's time to go back and say we're all right." Mamori joked.  
  
"Even though everyone knows we're pretending."  
  
"Hopefully, not _everyone_ ," Mamori protested.  
  
"Mostly everyone." Seno conceded. They ran across the street where Riku was waiting impatiently.  
  
The day of the Rice Bowl dawned bright and clear, gaining only more in vibrancy as the hours passed. Sunlight glinted off the hard-packed, icy snow that crunched and cracked beneath thousands of feet as amefuto lovers from all over Japan made their way to Tokyo Stadium. Mamori walked under the growling snow sculptures to the ticket booth with a large group of last night's party-goers. Of course, the Ojou and few Saikyoudai guys had already gone ahead and were in the locker rooms by now. Mamori sipped the hot chocolate she had bought on the way to the stadium and eyed the giant wizard with an over-large, star-spangled hat that was Saikyoudai's mascot. For some reason, the "artiste" had made the giant snowman's devilish grin look just like Hiruma's. Mamori giggled softly.  
  
"Man, this line is huge. I'm glad we got our tickets through the school. This is ridiculous MAX!" Monta complained, fidgeting with a huge frown on his face. Tomoe rolled her eyes.  
  
"It's not like we're going to miss the game. It doesn't start for another two hours." She snapped at him.  
  
"Well, this line is probably going to take two hours!" He retorted.  
  
"Yeah, right. We're about ten people away already. Keep your pants on, you monkey."  
  
"I AM NOT A MONKEY!"  
  
"Tommochi, stop teasing him. I'm just as impatient as him to get inside. I'm freezing!" Suzuna complained. Sena wrapped his arm around her shivering shoulders, blushing slightly.  
  
"I'll buy you another coffee when we get in. I told you to let it last." Sena muttered. Suzuna was too embarrassed and pleased to pretend to be angry at that.  
  
"Are you planning to do anything for Christmas, Mitsuki? Sena invited us to go to this Christmas tree display with him and Suzuna." Riku was saying to Seno behind Mamori.  
  
"It sounds nice, but I was planning to study."  
  
"But classes are out."  
  
"I know, but there's this cram school over the holidays for a math class I have to take next semester. I'm so bad at math, I figured I'd go." Mitsuki explained quietly. Riku frowned slightly, disappointed, his mouth opening to argue.  
  
"Hey, we're up next!" Mizumachi exclaimed. "If I had to wait any longer, I'd go pee in the snow!"  
  
Everyone else's face paled blue. They didn't doubt his threat in the least. They all searched their pockets for their tickets as they neared the glass window. It took just a few minutes to get everyone inside the stadium and they split quickly, agreeing to meet at their seats in an hour or so. Mamori headed towards their seats immediately, seeing as there wasn't anything she needed to get or do. She wished Sachiko and Motoko had been able to make it, but both had left town to visit family. Besides, neither of them really liked the sport, just the boys who played it. She wended her way through the seats towards the area just above Ojou's bench and waved when she caught sight of Takami and Yukimitsu.  
  
"I'm so glad you both made it! I was sure you were both interning and wouldn't be able to come!" Mamori laughed, hugging both the men in turn.  
  
"I almost wasn't able to, but a friend of mine agreed to cover my shift. He felt bad when he heard I already bought the ticket." Yukimitsu told her, laughing as well.  
  
"I wouldn't miss this game for the world. Even if I am a Shuuei player, I'm an Ojou fan to the bone. We've all been waiting years to get to the finals here. Not even the 'Golden' generation got this far." Takami was grinning widely as he spoke.  
  
"Are you going to be okay rooting against your own team, or are you going to be the only Saikyoudai fan on this side of the field?" Yukimitsu joked.  
  
"I'll cheer a little for both and chance the assassination attempts. I've already warned Seijuuro and he was fine with it." Mamori told him breezily, tossing her auburn hair over her shoulder. Both of her friends laughed.  
  
"Speaking of your team, Musashi and I met the other day at the hospital. You know his dad comes in and out for check-ups there. He told me he was worried about Hiruma-san. Apparently, the two of them got into a fight a couple days ago. Musashi didn't want him to play today." Yukimitsu said with a small frown.  
  
"But why? Hiruma is one of the best quarterbacks in the league!" Mamori gasped.  
  
"Is Hiruma sick?" Takami asked, his eyes widening.  
  
"No, it wasn't as bad as that. I had thought that, too, but Musashi wouldn't explain properly. He just said Hiruma-san's not fit to play in his condition. In the semifinals, Hiruma-san almost lost consciousness when he was sacked by Gaou-san. He wasn't even that badly injured, not like that time in high school." Yukimitsu reminded them. Mamori shuddered at the memory, anxiety filling her. "I tried to get a hold of Hiruma-san before the game, but he wouldn't answer any of my calls or texts. I guess I shouldn't have mentioned that I had met up with Musashi." He shrugged ruefully.  
  
"Hiruma knows how to take care of himself and he would never compromise his team if something was truly wrong. Hopefully, Musashi is worrying over nothing." Takami pushed his glasses up the bridge of his nose.  
  
Mamori nodded in agreement, but most of her mind was frantic with worry. If only she was still manager, she would know what was wrong. She would be able to fix it. He tried so hard to cover up his weaknesses that most people, even his team members, couldn't see them. If she could be with him, she was sure she would know within moments. She tried not to fidget as time crawled. The others begin to filter into their seats, laughing and arguing around her, and she tried her best to join in, but her eyes kept straying to the other side of the field, teeth gnashing her bottom lip.  
  
Finally, the announcer's rapid-fire voice filled the stadium and although she couldn't understand a word, she felt the excitement of the screaming crowd around her. Ojou stepped out onto the field, helmets tucked under their arms, in the midst of them stood Shin, straight-backed and stoic with dark eyes and hair. Her heart beat wildly in her chest as Saikyoudai filed out among crazed cheering as only one sentence stood out in her mind.  
  
 ** _Number one, Hiruma, Youichi of the Saikyoudai Wizards!_**  
  
Her fingers twisted together, brows knotting in the middle of her forehead as she stared at the slender, blonde figure across the gridiron. He didn't seem any different than usual, but he was so far away…  
  
The teams lined up on the field, Saikyoudai on defense, so Hiruma sat out and let Agon control the field. Bodies crashed, yellow and black, blue and silver, meshed in the middle, but she kept her eyes on Hiruma who lounged on the bench indolently, blowing gum bubbles.  
  
 _Whatever Musashi-kun was worried about seems to be fine. He's acting the same as he always does._  
  
Soon enough, the ball switched sides and Hiruma got off the bench, slapping his palm against Agon's. Realizing Ojou was now on defense, she swept her gaze over the field and found Shin. She cheered with the crowd and waved, though she knew he wouldn't be looking. He took amefuto so seriously. Mamori sat back and watched the game, finally paying attention to what was actually going on. She cheered with the rest and got some really strange looks when she cheered for Saikyoudai's first down. As she plopped back to her seat, with her friends laughing hysterically at her, she noticed Hiruma's face turned towards her. _Of course_ , he managed to pick her out of an insanely large crowd. She had always been lucky like that. (Yes, that was sarcasm.) She huffed softly. As he called out the "hut" in his sharp, brisk voice, her sharp eyes managed to catch something odd.  
  
His skin-tight amefuto pants bagged around the knees. She narrowed her eyes and saw it was also sagging around his hips. The whole point of skin-tight pants was not so one could ogle amefuto players' asses better (though it was a nice side benefit). The whole point was that it made it harder for the opposing players to grab and tackle the other team. Hiruma had always been slender, but not _that_ thin. A few minutes later, Saikyouda still had possession of the ball. They were lining up, ready for the play, the "hut" called. Mamori's eyes narrowed and she rose from her seat. Hiruma's arm had shaken when he had thrown towards Ikkyu. A few of the team members looked back in surprise as Ikkyu managed to receive and gain a few more yards. One of the reasons that Hiruma, despite his slender body and lack of incredible strength, height, or speed, was considered one of the best quarterbacks was because he had amazing control and pinpoint, high-speed throws. His aim had always been stellar, except for the game when his arm had been fractured.  
  
"Yukimitsu, Takami." Mamori muttered as around her the more keen-eyed, veteran, ball players muttered under their breaths. Yukimitsu nodded, frowning in concern.  
  
"What happened? He hasn't been playing very long, nor has he been sacked." Takami observed in confusion.  
  
Mamori held her breath as they lined up again, Takami and Yukimitsu muttering beside her. Seno leaned over the back of Mamori's chair, frowning.  
  
"Mamori-neechan, why are all of you so worried?" She asked quietly as the "huts" were shouted.  
  
"Hiruma's throw wasn't… well, it wasn't right."  
  
"But Ikkyu caught-" She cut herself off as the line smashed together.  
  
Everyone jumped from their seats as a hole was made and Shin darted through with his "light-defying" speed. His arm surged forward and made a loud, thumping impact on Hiruma's chest. Mamori's hands clenched together, heart thudding as the resulting moments seemed to happen in slow-motion. As Hiruma fell beneath Shin's Spear Tackle, the ball tumbled out his hand and hit the dirt. Yells and shrieks echoed through the stadium in shock and anger, players jumped and scrambled for the ball, and in the midst of the melee, Shin was getting to his knees and staring down at Hiruma, who hadn't tried to rise. Akaba barely managed to snag the ball beneath the pile of amefuto players. As players got to their feet, a whistle shrilled throughout the stadium and the referees hurried to Shin's side to lean over Hiruma. Mamori covered her mouth with both fists, her face ashen grey. She didn't even hear her friends around her as she turned and began to push desperately through the crowd.  
  
A stretcher was being carried across the field.  
  
 _Have to get to him. I have to be at his side,_ she thought in panic. She stumbled into the aisle and raced down to the Ojou bench. The railing was the only object to stop her momentum and keep her from falling the ten feet to the field.  
  
"Sakuraba! Sakuraba, let me down there!" Mamori screamed into the pit. Sakuraba turned to see the wild-eyed, grey-faced Mamori leaning dangerously over the railing.  
  
"He'll be fine, Mamori-"  
  
"You either get me down there or I'll jump!" Mamori snapped. Sakuraba blinked. Mamori clenched her jaw and swung her leg over the railing, then the other one.  
  
"Shit, you're serious! You're going to kill yourself!" Sakuraba exclaimed, rushing forward, reaching up to catch her. She dropped down the three feet into his arms, puffing.  
  
"What is it? What's wrong with Hiruma?" Mamori immediately burst out, struggling and wriggling to look over his shoulder. Sakuraba quickly let her down.  
  
"He's being taken to hospital for a broken collarbone, I think. It isn't life threatening or any- HEY! Anezaki-chan!" Sakuraba sighed in frustration as Mamori darted for the door leading into the lockers rooms and ran his fingers through his hair. "What the hell?"  
  
Mamori ran through the maze of halls beneath the stadium. Having come to the Tokyo Stadium countless times since high school, she knew her way well from one side to the other. Making the last turn, she pushed open the door and ran into Saikyoudai's bench pit, panting heavily. Hiruma was already on the stretcher and in the bench area as the field medics stabilized him for the trip to the ambulance. She pushed through Agon and Yamato without a word and hurled herself at the stretcher.  
  
"Hiruma…" She breathed softly. His face was pale from pain, with sweat darkening the bleached roots of his hair and sliding down his face. He was definitely unconscious and his jaw was tightly clenched.  
  
"Mamori-neechan, when did you-" Yamato blurted.  
  
"You're not supposed to be in here." Agon yelled at her back.  
  
"Excuse me, ma'am, you need to move.' One of the medics said.  
  
"I'm going with him! I'm the closest he has to a family and he has a right to a family member in the ambulance with him!" Mamori retorted sharply. "If you don't let in the van with you, I'll follow on foot!"  
  
The medics blinked as she glared angrily at them, her fingers wrapped around the bars of the stretcher painfully so that her knuckles were white. Yamato walked up behind her, his confident grin plastered on his face as he shoved aside the shock.  
  
"What she says is true. None of us even know his father's name, or if he even has a mother. We would all feel better if our quarterback was being watched over by someone who cared for him. Please, it would make all of us rest easy if Anezaki-san were there. We all know her." Yamato told the medics.  
  
"As long as you don't hinder us further." The second man told her firmly.  
  
Mamori nodded. "I'm here to help Hiruma." She murmured, staring down at his face. As the stretcher jolted into movement towards the door she had just come through, Hiruma's brows contracted together and a slight groan escaped him.  
  
"Hiruma, it's going to all right. Just like in high school, I'm here." Mamori whispered. Hiruma's eyes opened slightly, glassy and unfocused. His dark jade gaze traveled over her face and he grimaced slightly.  
  
"You took… too long… showing up… Mana-jerk." He breathed out painstakingly slow. Mamori chuckled wetly, sobs catching in her throat.  
  
" _You're_ the jerk, Hiruma-kun." Her eyes widened as he held up one hand mutely, his gaze somewhere off to the right. With a tremulous smile, she took his hand in hers. "Did you really have to break your neck before you talked to me again?"  
  
"Same…to you." He muttered, his eyes closing.  
  
She left the field, hand in hand with Hiruma, without looking back once.


	6. Just Enough

Just A Little  
  
Chapter Six  
  
Just Enough  
  
Mamori sat on the bench nearest the emergency room doors, gripping her jeans tightly. Musashi had joined her less than thirty minutes after Hiruma was pushed out of her sight. She had calmed slightly in his familiar, rock-steady presence, but she was still nervous and agitated, often glancing towards the door after hearing imagined footsteps. Musashi leaned against the wall next to her, arms crossed, mouth pulled down at the corners.  
  
"Do you know why Hiruma-kun is so… malnourished? He's lost so much weight." Mamori murmured anxiously, once again glancing towards the ER doors.  
  
"You've lost some weight, too, Mamori." Musashi replied bluntly. Mamori blushed slightly.  
  
"He would never…" She trailed off and tightened her hold even further. Her fingers were beginning to ache with blood loss. Musashi remained silent.  
  
The ER doors finally opened to admit a young woman with waving black hair to her waist and pouting lips painted black. Other than the gothic-like appearance, she wasn't too bad looking. Musahi immediately moved towards her.  
  
"Shouko, are you assigned to Hiruma, Youichi?" Musashi asked. The girl shook her head.  
  
"I do know how he is, though. I offered to talk to you when I saw the name." She answered in a low, husky voice. Mamori glanced between them, momentarily distracted. She quickly got to her feet.  
  
"How is he?" Mamori asked eagerly. The young woman, a nurse most likely, raised her eyebrow.  
  
"Girlfriend?"  
  
"Just a friend. A _worried_ one," Mamori stressed. Shouko smirked and shrugged.  
  
"He's fine and wide awake. A fractured collarbone, a few fractured ribs, and a whole lot of bruises. One shaped like a hand. Amefuto is so rough, ne? The real problem is he's malnourished. He couldn't even tell me the last time he had a true meal. He's been living off of coffee for a numbers of weeks from what I understood. He says there must have been food in there somewhere, but he doesn't remember. Crazy idiot. We're keeping him over night attached to an IV to make sure he gets the basic nutrients he needs, but he should be fine to leave tomorrow." Shouko shook her head despondently. "We almost had to tie him to the bed to agree to that, though. I even had to threaten him with voodoo."  
  
"I thought you swore never to do that again?" Musashi replied with an amused tone. Shouko tsked.  
  
"He drove me to it. He is crazy, you know. Just like you described him."  
  
"Excuse me, but can we go visit him?" Mamori butted in as politely as possible.  
  
"Yeah, sure. This way." Shouko motioned them to follow and led towards the doors. Mamori leaned towards Musashi.  
  
"How do you know her?" She whispered to Musashi, her curiosity getting the better of her.  
  
"She's my father's nurse-assistant. We've had coffee in the hospital cafeteria a few times." Musashi explained. Mamori's mouth circled into an 'o' of understanding, nodding slightly.  
  
Shouko the nurse paused outside a door and turned back to Musashi and Mamori. "This is his room, but you can't stay long. I will be back when your time is up." Shouko told them.  
  
They nodded before quickly entering the room. It was a small, private room with only a simple nightstand and bed. Hiruma sat propped up against the pillows, one arm in a sling, looking pissed off and bored. He turned to them, jade eyes dark in his pale face.  
  
"Took you bastards long enough." He grumbled. Mushashi grunted and Mamori bristled.  
  
"We couldn't get here any sooner and you know it, Hiruma!" Mamori snapped angrily. She hurried to his bedside and checked the IV drip before eying his injuries himself with a critical eye.  
  
"I told you not to play, Youichi." Musashi said with eyebrows raised. Hiruma shrugged, wincing slightly at the motion.  
  
"I'm captain. It's my fucking responsibility."  
  
"It's also your responsibility to take care of yourself. Living off coffee, Hiruma? I've never known you to be stupid." Mamori interjected as she fixed his pillows.  
  
"It's really none of your damn business." He replied, a smug look on his face as she fussed over him. Musashi shook his head.  
  
"Since you're fine, I'm going to find Shouko. You and Mamori need to talk without me interferin' anyway." Musashi turned to the door. _Why does he have to do everything so complicated?_ He wondered as he closed the door behind him.  
  
Mamori sat down on the bed next to Hiruma, smoothing the blanket between them. "He's right, you know. You're not stupid."  
  
"I think I know that." Hiruma rolled his eyes, settling back on the pillows.  
  
"You could have just called." She murmured. Silence stretched out between. "I'm no stupid either, Hiruma. Of course, I was instantly worried for you, but within moments I knew exactly what you had done."  
  
"Your boyfriend hits fucking hard."  
  
"Normally, you wouldn't have been hit. It's entirely your fault."  
  
Sunlight streamed over the blue blanket, spreading over her hands as she traced the tight weave with her fingernail.  
  
"I'll be back tomorrow before you get checked out." Mamori finally said, getting to her feet. "Get some sleep."  
  
"Mamori."  
  
She paused. Blue eyes slowly shifted, meeting his jade gaze directly for the first time in weeks. A slow shudder worked its way down her spine. His hand rose again and he grabbed her wrist, pulling her down. Her balance shifted, knees braced against the edge of the bed.  
  
"You came to me again." He said more softly than she had ever heard.  
  
"It would have been a waste of your time otherwise." Mamori retorted breezily. He smirked, fangs baring.  
  
"Maybe." He agreed. She felt her mouth turn up at the corners.  
  
"You are a manipulative jerk." She told him firmly. Her free hand twisted the blanket in her fist. "I missed you. And the team, of course. I missed everyone." She admitted quickly.  
  
"We'll see you at the next practice then. Your resignation fell in the incinerator on accident." Hiruma informed her, cackling, as he released her.  
  
"You would, wouldn't you?" Mamori laughed, ignoring the tingling skin of her wrist. "See you tomorrow, Commander from Hell."  
  
"Tomorrow." He agreed, letting his eyes slide shut.  
  
Mamori left the room, heart beating painfully, her hand wrapped around the wrist he had held.  
  
 _What am I doing? I cut him away. I know he did it on purpose. He pretty much admitted it. Musashi knew, too. Why did he drag me back in? Why is he acting like nothing happened? Why am I letting him?_ She clutched her head and pushed inward with the heels of he palms. _I'm going to destroy myself if I let this go on. I can't push him away, just to let myself be reeled in again. I have a life without him. I have Seijuuro._  
  
A life where everything tasted like dirt. Where she felt numb. Where she was lying to herself.  
  
Hiruma was her future. Her past. Her present. She was falling apart and just a few minutes with him put it all back together.  
  
 _Can I handle never hearing him tell me how he feels? I ended it, whatever "it" is, because it hurt too much. Is anything different? Has anything changed?  
_  
She sighed softly. "I better get back to Tokyo Stadium. The game will be ending soon." She left the hospital, running towards the nearest bus stop.  
  
Tokyo flashed past the bus as she stared out the window, her forehead pressed to the cold glass. Breath fogged on the icy pane, her lips warmed by it, her eyes fluttering closed. Jade eyes burned into her, thin lips pressed into a tight, angry line, fingers digging into her arms. She could feel her heart beating throughout her whole body. Blue eyes slowly opened, resigned.  
  
By the time she made it back to Tokyo Stadium, the game was over and swarms of people were filtering out the Stadium doors. It was like fighting an ocean wave trying to get through to the players' entrance. Mamori pushed and shaved her way through, muttering automatic apologies under her breath. With a sharp squeak, she fell through the edge of the crowd, stumbling slightly before she reached the door and darted though it. She fell back against the closed door, sighing in relief, slumping against the freezing metal she could barely feel through her thick coat. Her eyes focused on the ceiling above her dimly lit by soft florescent lights. The laughing and chatter of cheerleaders echoed down the corridor, forcing her into action. She propelled herself off the door and made her way towards the voices. Her footsteps thudded dully against concrete, as if in time with her heartbeat. The girls passing by her waved and greeted her cheerfully, blue and silver blurring together. She waved back, a small, fake smile pasted on her lips. The closer she got, the more she wanted to turn around. Seijuuro's face, soft and confused as she had ever seen it, flitted in her mind's eye.  
  
 _Mamori… am I in love with you?_  
  
Her heart constricted painfully, causing her to visibly wince and clutch her jacket.  
  
 _No going back?_  
  
She shuffled to a stop, knuckles white as she gripped the cloth of her jacket tightly. "I promised." She whispered softly, her eyes on the floor. _I have to go back. I can't keep pretending anymore. I need to be at his side. No one can replace him and nothing can fill the void left behind. Maybe I'm not trying hard enough… but there is nothing I can do now._  
  
The door to the locker room crashed open, Ojou Knights filing out. They looked ragged and worn-out and defeated. Apparently, even without Hiruma, Saikyoudai still managed a win. It wasn't too surprising. Hiruma wouldn't have thrown the entire game just for his own personal reasons. He never would have gone through with his plan unless he was sure the Wizards could win without him, and they were a very powerful team.  
  
"Mamori-nee! You made it back." Otowara greeted her, grinning.  
  
"Is Hiruma doing all right?" Sakuraba asked as he stepped up to her.  
  
"Yes. He's fine. They're keeping him over night for procedure's sake, but he will be released tomorrow," she briefly replied.  
  
"At least we managed to knock out one of their best players. In the end, it didn't matter, though," sighed a senior player.  
  
"Saikyoudai is too good this year." Another complained without real heat.  
  
"Shin is in the locker room. I think he's waiting for you." Sakuraba murmured to Mamori under the players' grumblings and vows for vengeance at the next game against the Wizards.  
  
"Thank you." Mamori muttered back, slipping around him and the group to the door. With a wry smile in Sakuraba's direction, she slipped through the door. It closed with a slam behind her, making her jump slightly.  
  
Seijuuro turned from his locker, bag over one shoulder, face stoically blank. Lockers stretched out behind him, wet towels on the benches and hanging haphazardly from the laundry bin. His dark eyes widened seeing her standing there with a weak, half-smile on her face. He dropped his bag on the nearby bench and waited patiently. Mamori cleared her throat anxiously.  
  
"I heard… the Knights lost. I'm sorry." She finally forced out. Shin shrugged.  
  
"We will fight all the harder next time."  
  
"Yes. You're right." She tucked a loose strand of hair behind her ear and her eyes darted around the locker room.  
  
"Mamori. He is all right?" She flinched slightly.  
  
"Yes." Blue eyes finally settled on his dark gaze. If only he could be enough. He should be enough… Her eyes broke away to stare at the floor, emotion clogging her throat.  
  
He walked over to her and gently raised her chin, forcing her gaze back to him.  
  
"And you, Mamori? Will you tell me the truth now?" Shin asked, voice low.  
  
"I'm sorry." She breathed without thinking.  
  
He frowned darkly as he turned his face away. "Stop apologizing." He retorted sharply. "I do not want to hear that. I want to hear the truth. All this time, it did not matter. You will go back to him because you have to. I am not blind or stupid. I could tell there was something wrong, something missing."  
  
"Seijuuro, I… I wanted it to work. I wanted you to be enou-" She broke off, biting her lip. His hand fell from her chin to hang at his side.  
  
"Enough. I was not enough." He finished quietly.  
  
Silence descended between them. Heavy and dark, Mamori felt it weighing on her shoulders until she wanted to crumple to her knees. She kept herself upright, her shoulders straight, refusing to let weakness show. They deserved better than tears. Tears wouldn't fix what was broken between them.  
  
"I love you, Mamori." Shin voice rang out, strong and sure, though gentle. She wanted to lean forward, feel the arms that had grown so familiar around her, and listen to the steady heartbeat beneath his wide chest. She wanted to take it back. She held herself still and silent. "I cannot stand it that being with me is hurting you."  
  
"No, Seijuuro, it's not you."  
  
His lifted hand silenced her.  
  
"I am never going to be enough. So, I will let… let you go this time." She looked up at him, feeling torn and free at the same time. "I want to thank you. I was able to… I was able to feel things I had never felt before. I have never been in love before. When you chose to be with me, I had never felt that kind of happiness. I will treasure the emotions you helped me find within myself." His eyes were darker than usual as his mouth curved up on one side slightly.  
  
"Thank you, for being a man I could depend on, Seijuuro." Mamori whispered.  
  
"They will be by to clean the locker rooms soon. You should go to your friends."  
  
Mamori nodded, wishing there was something else she could say. She smiled softly up at him, hands shaking as they clenched into fists. She turned and left the room without another word. Left behind, Seijuuro's lips flattened as he slumped onto the bench. His face fell into his open palms, a low sigh escaping.  
  
Mamori stumbled into the cold outside, snow blinding in the late sun. She blinked back stinging tears caused by the abrupt brightness and stood still as her breath's vapor twisted in the air. She felt all the grief and pain of breaking up with Shin, the feeling of failure. If only she could have tried harder, he might have been enough.  
  
Underneath it, though, was a wild sense of freedom. Free to love _him_ again. Just loving _him_ , and it was enough. It had to be enough, no matter what was never said. It had to be just enough. Her phone rang, the screen lit up with Suzuna's name. She flipped it open as she hurried across the street.  
  
The next day, Mamori entered the hospital cheerfully humming. It was a gloriously bright day outside and the after party for the Wizards had been fun and completely awkward free. It had been refreshing to sing bad karaoke and watch her old friends make fools of themselves after imbibing too much liquor. She paused seeing a tall, lanky form leaning against the registration counter. A large bubble popped as he pushed away and sauntered up to her.  
  
"You're late." Hiruma informed her bluntly.  
  
"You're a liar. We never agreed on a time." Mamori retorted. She reached out and grasped his hand, making his eyes widen slightly. She smiled up at him. "Let's go get some lunch. I know a great place by the station."  
  
"Do they serve cream puffs?" He taunted as she pulled him forward. She glared over her shoulder at his smirking face.  
  
"Of course not." She sniffed haughtily. He cackled behind her as she hid her answering smile behind a curtain of auburn hair. Holding his hand felt _right_.  
  
 _I guess there's nothing I can do. He was right. I belong to him._ They left the hospital side by side, his hand lax in her grip, but letting her hold on anyway.  
  
 _It'll be enough this time._  
  
Snow crunched beneath their boots, sharp and loud in the crisp winter air. She raised her face and let the bright sunlight wash over her skin, a smile hovering on her lips. She turned to him, blue eyes smiling into jade.  
  
"We should go. It's cold out here."  
  
"Mamori." She paused and looked back at him as he frowned. "You misunderstood before. I can't… I can't say what you want to hear. That doesn't mean it doesn't exist." He muttered, eyes tracing the lines of her face.  
  
She felt her heart thud in her chest.  
  
"You deserve the words. You deserve everything you asked for from me. But I can't give it to you." His mouth hardened. "I'll be damned, however, if I let you leave me again for him. For any other man. If you go back to him after this, I will take you back. I'll tie you up, lock you in a hotel room, and never let you out." He warned heatedly.  
  
"You won't have to worry about that." She replied slowly. "I learned that… there is a place for you inside me… that no one can fill. Seijuuro and I broke up last night because I couldn't hide it anymore. I believe that one day you will trust me enough to say the words, even if you can't now."  
  
His long, slender fingers traced her cheekbone, sliding over chilled skin to bury into her thick, dark hair. Her face tilted up, lashes falling over bright irises as vapor mixed between their lips. His kiss was sweeter, softer than before, as if expecting the same lack of response as the last time. She sighed beneath him, her lips warmed and molding to his eagerly, wanting it more than ever. In the sharp, winter sunlight, fire roared between them, lighting blood up like they were filled with fireworks. His free arms wrapped around her waist, pulling her against him, his mouth greedy and hungry, making her shudder. There was nothing comparable. Everything felt fuller, brighter, as their lips broke apart, lungs gasping for air. His fingers brushed through her hair to the ends, her scalp tingling. Her drugged gaze met his and she smiled softly.  
  
"I love you, Hiruma-kun." She told him in a steady voice. The words ringing like tapped glass in the air. "I am not going to hide it or wait around for you anymore. Being with you is the only thing that feels truly right. Even if you are a complete jackass, I love you."  
  
He stared down at her, narrow eyes wide. A chill breeze whipped past them, tugging her loose hair around her shoulders, stinging her cheeks and eyes. She pushed the strands back with one hand as she shivered. She recaptured Hiruma's slack hand and tugged him forward.  
  
"Let's go eat."  
  
"Yeah."


	7. Just Love A Little

Chapter Seven  
  
Just Love a Little  
  
That Monday, Mamori set foot on Saikyoudai's gridiron for the first time in months. The feel of her gym clothes felt so familiar, like a lover's caress. Speaking of which- her eyes raised and traversed the field. Every figure out there was dear and familiar, with only the first-years being unrecognized. First years, unless exceptional, weren't allowed on the field during the Rice Bowl and were rarely allowed to play during the fall tournament. Now, Saikyoudai prepared for the "little spring season," gearing up their new blood for the games they'd finally get to play in. Her mouth spread into a wide smile seeing Agon, Yamato, and Hiruma, the terrible three, standing side-by-side and watching the fresh blood go through their routines. She walked forward, straightening her shoulders and tightening her grip on her clipboard.  
  
"Mamori-neechan!" Ikkyu's voice bellowed out in surprise and joy.  
  
She turned her head towards him, grinning as he ran across the field, immediately followed by the rest of the team.  
  
"You're back! You're back, right?"  
  
"Oh, Mamori-senpai, it's been hell without you! Hiruma-senpai wouldn't let me do anything without breathing down my neck or double-checking everything-"  
  
"We all missed you so much!"  
  
"When we saw you at the Rice Bowl, we were sure you'd come back this season!"  
  
"Hold on, everyone! I can't reply to everybody at once. One at a time." Mamori protested, laughing as she was hugged from all directions. "It's so good to see you all again. Congratulations on your victory! I'm sorry I missed it."  
  
"It's more than all right, Mamori-neechan. Hiruma needed you far more than we did." Yamato assured her with his confident grin in place as the terrible three walked up from behind the crowd.  
  
"If you're back, does this mean Hiruma won't be wussing out in the next fucking game? I enjoyed being the center of attention for once." Agon complained, though he reached out to "affectionately" punch her shoulder. Instead of treating her like meat, like he did most women, he had long ago began to treat her like another teammate- a vast improvement.  
  
"I doubt he'll make a habit of wussing out on games. Attention is food and drink to him, after all." Mamori said, her eyes on Hiruma's as he neared her. "Maybe that's how you survived so long on coffee, Devil-san."  
  
"Sheer fucking determination. I get what I want." Hiruma cackled. Mamori raised her eyebrow.  
  
"Oh really? Just was it that you wanted? Are you going to make it clear this time?" She challenged with a smirk that she'd clearly inherited from time spent with the man she'd chosen for once and for all.  
  
Hiruma's cackles subsided as they stared hard into each other's eyes in a silent contest of wills, both wondering who would back down first. Hiruma sighed, relenting. It was time. Besides, if the fucking robot could do it, then he fucking could. In his own Hiruma way, of course.  
  
He reached out, wrapping his hand around the back of Mamori's neck. Her eyes widened as he pulled her toward him off her equilibrium. She fell against his chest, head tipped back, then, in front of the entire team, he captured her mouth beneath his own. Embarrassment warred with delighted surprise. Choosing to ignore the blush rising in her face, she kissed back until he ended it, letting her fall back onto her heels.  
  
"I think that more than makes everything clear. Back to practice, everyone." Yamato announced gaily.  
  
More than one hopeful heart broke again, but they all turned back to the field.  
  
"You're a fucking dumbass for letting a woman lead you by your cock, Hiruma." Agon rolled his eyes and turned to follow.  
  
Blue and jade stay locked on each other for a few more heartbeat.  
  
"Maybe it's worth it." Hiruma murmured as his hand moved away.  
  
Mamori smiled up at him. "More than worth it." She agreed.  
  
They both stepped back and then, as a unit once more, returned to the team to do what they had done best for years- work together towards a common goal.  
  
More than a year passed and graduation was just around the corner, though finals were over. In the apartment shared by Mamori, Suzuna, and Seno, a large crowd of girls filled the little living area. Mamori, Tomoe, and Suzuna were snuggled on the couch, the younger two arguing over the remote while Mamori flipped idly through a knitting magazine. Seno was curled up in the armchair sitting perpendicular to the couch, reading a Russian novel for her latest European literature class. If the pile of used tissues and puffy, red-eyes were any clue, the novel, called _The Idiot_ , was beyond depressing, like most Russian novels. On the floor, Mamori's old high school friends, Ako and Sara, were laying flat on their bellies and looking over travel brochures for the summer vacation the three were planning. They were still arguing about the destination.  
  
Mamori flipped a page of her magazine and her eyebrows flew up seeing the adorable sweater some woman had made for her infant son. Interesting color combination…  
  
"Hey, Mamori?" Ako piped up suddenly, looking up from a picture of a couple lounging on a sunny, Japanese beach.  
  
"Mm?" Mamori mumbled as she mentally remembered to try out that new pattern herself.  
  
"You haven't done _the deed_ yet, have you?"  
  
The magazine ripped loudly as a vivid blush spread over Mamori's face. Suzuna's hair antennae twitched as she and Tomoe immediately dropped the remote and looked at her.  
  
"E-Excuse me?" Mamori squeaked harshly. _And they say guys only think about sex!_ "W-Where did that come from?"  
  
"Well, this ad for a romantic getaway, probably." Sara pointed to it helpfully.  
  
"Yeah. I was just thinking about how I wish Toganou and could get away, and it got me thinking if _Mamori-neechan_ has lost her 'big V' yet." Ako added. Though she and Toganou had never crossed paths in high school, Ako met the lineman at a huge ComiCon in her second year of college. Vaguely recognizing each other, they had struck up an easy friendship based on mutual friends and similar otaku interests. They'd begun dating just months afterwards and had been together since. It was sweet and adorable and Mamori loved their story. That did not mean she 1) needed to know that they had had sex, or 2) was going to talk about her sex life- or lack thereof- with _anybody_.  
  
"That is not any of your business." Mamori said stiffly.  
  
"That means she hasn't." Sara deducted wisely, while Ako nodded her head in agreement. It felt as if a knife was stabbed through Mamori's heart when all her friends read such an embarrassing thing on her face so easily.  
  
"I don't see why it matters one way or another," Mamori muttered as the girls turned sad, knowing looks in her direction. Seno sniffled behind her Russian novel obliviously.  
  
"Of course it matters! It's been a year since you two started dating!" Tomoe exclaimed in shock. She pouted mutinously. "You make me feel like a slut for sleeping with that guy in Nara when you haven't slept with your boyfriend of almost a year."  
  
"I never intended to make you feel like that!" Mamori protested, aghast.  
  
"I'm surprised, though. Hiruma-san doesn't seem like a patient type. You'd think he'd throw you over his shoulder caveman style and have his wicked, wild way with you by now…" Ako mused in puzzlement.  
  
Mamori blushed bright red and she could swear steam was pouring out her ears. "Can we please change the topic? You all are being very inappropriate."  
  
"Don't be such a prude, Mamo-nee! I, personally, always thought Hiruma would be good at that kinda of thing." Tomoe flapped her hand at Mamori carelessly.  
  
"I always thought so, too. You-nii is so devilish. I bet he'd make it really interesting." Suzuna and Tomoe burst into wild giggles.  
  
"Well, I wouldn't know. Doesn't anybody believe in waiting until marriage anymore?" Mamori cried. All four girls stared at Mamori with deadpanned expressions.  
  
"No." Came the simultaneous response on all sides. Mamori sweatdropped.  
  
"Geez, that's so old-fashioned." Sara complained as she flopped unto her back. "If I was dating a guy I really loved for more than a year, and he was a total stud-muffin, I wouldn't wait."  
  
"I didn't think Hiruma was quite your type." Mamori retorted stiffly.  
  
"Doesn't change the fact that his abs and butt are drool-worthy." Ako shrugged nonchalantly. Mamori's face paled to blue.  
  
"I thought waiting until marriage was a Christian thing. You're not Christian." Tomoe pondered aloud, her black eyes falling on Mamori.  
  
"Well, no, I'm not. But you don't have to be Christian to appreciate Christian values." Mamori answered shortly.  
  
"But you've been dating for over a year, you love him, you've already graduated from college, or will be in a matter of days, you're just a couple years from being Christmas cake-"  
  
"Excuse me? That's a horribly offensive thing to say!" Mamori blurted in shock as the other girls burst out laughing. Suzuna continued, undeterred.  
  
"And you're dating a sexy amefuto player. Mitcchi-chan is as shy and traditional as Japanese girls go, but even she-" Suzuna cut off as a book slapped shut  
  
Everyone jumped, turned to see Seno sitting up with a tightness around her eyes and mouth that didn't come from reading a depressing novel. Her grey eyes met Suzuna's violet. "I would appreciate it if you didn't bring that up." She requested softly.  
  
Mamori glared down at Suzuna, who looked immediately guilty. The three on the couch knew about the recent disastrous trip Seno had taken to Sapporo just a few weeks before to search out and confront Juumonji. She hadn't gone into detail, but the fact that she had only been gone for about eleven hours, and barely eight of that was used on the shinkansen, meant that nothing good had come out it. The entire day she had spent in her room afterwards, without speaking, definitely proved it.  
  
"I would also appreciate it, as I'm sure Mamori-neechan would, if you would leave off the embarrassing questions. Mamori-neechan said it is none of our business, so it isn't. Just drop it." Seno got to her feet and left the room, heading towards the bedrooms.  
  
"Sorry, Mamo-nee…" Suzuna and Tomoe murmured.  
  
"Yeah, we're sorry, too. We were just teasing." Sara added as Ako nodded beside her.  
  
"I know. It's really embarrassing, though. How about I go pop some popcorn and we put in that movie we rented yesterday?" Mamori offered diplomatically. The others all agreed readily, so Mamori got to her feet and left the room as well.  
  
As corn began to pop in the microwave and Mamori poured fizzing soda into plastic cups, Seno stepped into the kitchen. She tapped the wall with her fingertips to alert Mamori of her presence. Mamori raised her head and smiled over at the grey-eyed girl in the doorway.  
  
"Thank you for that earlier." Mamori said as Seno moved closer.  
  
Seno shrugged. "They would have given up in a minute, anyway. I just hurried it along." She ran her fingertips over the counter, frowning as if trying to say something that was difficult to put into words. Mamori waited patiently, turning to open the microwave when it beeped. "I know you disapproved of my decision to sleep with… Juumonji-san two years ago…" She trailed off, looking uncomfortable- either with the topic at hand or the fact she said Juumonji's name aloud as she hadn't for the past three weeks. Mamori reached out with one hand and touched Seno's shoulder.  
  
"I never wanted this to happen. I definitely didn't expect it to, Mitcchi-chan." Mamori murmured softly. Seno shook her head.  
  
"I'm not here to talk about me and Juumonji-san. I'm here to talk about you and Hiruma-sama. Are you sure… Are you sure you're holding back because of those reasons?" Seno finally forced out, blushing lightly. Mamori blinked.  
  
"I don't understand what you mean."  
  
"I mean… I know you told me that I shouldn't have… shouldn't have sex unless I was going to get married because of all the emotional repercussions that would come if Juumonji-san and I were to… were to.. break up…" Seno's hands curled into fists, but she continued. "You and Hiruma-sama, though, are together. From what you've said before, there shouldn't be any fear of you two breaking apart. He _needs_ you, as much as you need him. You love him, Mamori-neechan. Heart and soul, he's yours. So, are you being traditional, or are you scared?"  
  
"Scared? Don't be silly. You said yourself that we're unlikely to break up because of-"  
  
"He still hasn't said he loves you, has he?" Seno guessed astutely. At Mamori's stricken look, Seno's mouth curved into a wry smile. "You don't believe in him."  
  
Mamori dropped the bag of popcorn to the counter and gripped the laminate edge until her knuckles turned white. The distant sounds of the other girls chatting and the clink of ice were the only sounds that broke the silence in the tiny kitchen.  
  
"He hasn't said it." Mamori whispered. She closed her eyes tight. "How can I believe in him, if he can't believe in me?"  
  
"Is that how love is supposed to work? Only giving if you can take first?" Seno asked softly.  
  
"It's supposed to be equal! He's supposed to be able to give as much as take!"  
  
"And so are you."  
  
Mamori's eyes popped open, blue eyes bright as they met Seno's. "Love is unconditional, ne? So, you're supposed to give, and give, and give, and expect nothing in return. Even if it hurts, even if you think you have nothing left to give, you give anyway. Because you're supposed to believe in the other person to return it, no matter how long it takes. You're holding back, because you don't believe that Hiruma-sama will ever give back as much as he takes. Maybe… Maybe a part of Hiruma-sama feels that… if you can't believe in him and in his heart, how can he?"  
  
Mamori's hand dropped form the counter. "B-But… haven't I shown him I believe in him? I chose him. I gave up Shin-kun and went to him, even after I realized it was a trick. I told him I loved him. I've told him more than once."  
  
"It doesn't change the fact that you're holding a part of yourself back, Mamori-neechan. It's not necessarily s-sex that I'm talking about, either." Seno blushed, embarrassment warring with annoyance that the word 'sex' still managed to make her stutter. "You're still shielding yourself, hiding behind a wall. For you, saying 'I love you' comes much more easily than to him. You know what love is and you love with everything inside you because you've done it all your life. Letting down your guard, letting yourself be completely vulnerable… I don't think you've let Hiruma-sama see that, not really. And having s-sex, that would mean you're putting down every shield and being just as vulnerable as he would feel if he could actually bring himself to say the words you're scared he'll never say.  
  
"So I'm supposed to have sex to prove I'm in love with him? I'm supposed to have sex so that he'll say he loves me? That is _stupid_ and _archaic_ and _absolutely ridiculous_!" Mamori snapped angrily, pounding her fist on the counter. Popcorn fell to the ground. "This isn't the feudal era where the only weapon a woman has is her body. I'm not going to use my body in that way. It's _degrading_."  
  
Seno sighed angrily. "It's not using your body, or s-sex, as a weapon to make him weak, Mamori-neechan. That's not what I'm saying. I'm saying you need to show Hiruma-sama that you _believe_ in him, in being a unit." She broke off, her brows contracting, before she sighed once more. "I saw Juumonji-san in Sapporo that day."  
  
Mamori froze, blue eyes wide. "W-We were all wondering what happened…"  
  
"He didn't believe in me, Mamori-neechan. He thought I was cheating on him with Riku and, instead of confronting me, he pulled away."  
  
Mamori's widened as Seno hugged herself tightly.  
  
"He thought he was doing it for _me_ , as if I _wanted_ him to back off so I could be free to be with Riku. But he was doing it for _himself_. He didn't believe that we could survive the distance. He was so scared of hurting that he ran away from it. He hid in his shell, threw up walls, and said to himself that it was for my benefit. In a way, it was just as much my fault. I should have I told him everything that happened between Riku and me. I thought he would be angry, jump to conclusions. I didn't trust him to believe in me… so I believed in us as little as he did. We loved each other so much… but we couldn't believe in the other… each believing the other… the other deserved better, or wouldn't understand, so scared of hurting each other and hurting ourselves…. We broke each other, Mamori-neechan, we broke _us_." Tears slid from dark grey eyes and her words broke off, choked in her throat. "Don't… Don't do that to Hiruma-sama… to yourself. Don't mess up like I did, like he did. Believe in your relationship and show that belief to Hiruma-sama."  
  
Seno squeaked wetly, then sniffled, as arms wrapped around her shoulders. She laid her head on Mamori's shoulder and cried softly for her broken heart, as she'd refused to do for weeks. Tears filmed Mamori's lashes empathically.  
  
"You're right, Mitcchi-chan. And… I'm sorry." Mamori murmured softly, stroking Seno's long braid. "I promise to think about what you've said."  
  
"Thank you, Mamori-neechan." Seno hiccupped.  
  
Suzuna and Tomoe leaned against the wall outside the kitchen, looking at each other edgily. After Mamori had banged the counter top, they'd volunteered to spy. They had gotten an earful more than they'd been expecting. They tiptoed away.  
  
"Isn't Monjii-kun coming back at the end of this school year? Sena told me…" Suzuna whispered under her breath. Tomoe nodded.  
  
"Monta told last week. We'll do our best to keep the two of them apart. That bastard, I'll rip off his-" Suzuna quickly interrupted her.  
  
"It shouldn't be that hard with her living with us and Monjii-kun living on the other side of the district with Toga and Kurokki. We need to focus on helping Mamo-nee and You-nii first."  
  
"I don't see how…" Tomoe muttered. "They'll figure it out themselves. I think we would only make things worse if we interfered now. Mitcchan did more than enough." Flames returned to her black eyes. "When Monjii-kun comes back, interference will be required. I'll _kill_ him!"  
  
Suzuna sighed.  
  
Mamori spent the rest of the night deep in thought. Seno went to bed early, telling the others she had a headache from reading too much Dostoevsky. As the others watched the movie intently, laughing and crying throughout, Mamori contemplated her conversation with Seno and just how she could do as she promised. She couldn't just pop up out of nowhere and tell Hiruma, "Well, I've decided to have sex with you because I realized I was running away this whole time, even though I hadn't meant to. Let's get to it. " Yeah… that scenario was just awkward…  
  
Mamori sighed and flipped her phone open, then closed. Then, open. She squeaked in surprise as it vibrated loudly, almost dropping it to the floor. All the girls turned to glare angrily at her. She sweated and hit the button to open the text message.  
  
 _I made reservations for dinner tomorrow. I will come by at seven thirty to pick you up._  
  
Mamori's eyebrows flew up to her hairline as she quickly typed a message and sent it in reply to Hiruma's strangely, perfectly-timed message. His reply buzzed in a few seconds later.  
  
 _Are you fucking stupid? We're graduating, Manajerk. Aren't we supposed to have a damn party?_  
  
Mamori rolled her eyes at his foul language, ignoring the wash of disappointment. She thought he meant a date for the two of them, not a party. She asked for a list of other people's names and hit 'send'.  
  
 _There isn't going to being anybody else. Dress nice, fucking dumbass._  
  
Mamori glared at the screen. _I am not a dumbass!_ She replied angrily, pushing the buttons a little harder than necessary. As it sent, she smiled and pressed her phone to her nose. She barely managed not to jump up and down and squeal, like a high schooler. Dates with Hiruma were mostly non-existent- limited to coffee shops after practice and watching movies at his house. Just getting the movie dates was hard enough, since Hiruma hated sitting still through an entire movie without even his laptop or some work assignment to look over. After she'd accused him of ADD, he had stopped complaining, but she didn't force him into it too often.  
  
"What was that all about?" Ako asked curiously as the credits began to roll.  
  
"Nothing. Just Hiruma." Mamori shrugged. "What happened at the end? I missed it."  
  
The next day, Mamori was ready, promptly at seven twenty, with ten minutes left to make sure she hadn't forgotten anything and to set out food for Seno to cook for the girls' dinner. She felt bad leaving Ako and Sara to go on a date, but they had assured her to enjoy her night out when she brought it up over breakfast that morning. Ako had made plans with Toganou, anyway, and Sara apparently had made plans of her own, though she didn't say exactly what… or with whom.  
  
"Wow! Mamo-nee can sure clean up." Suzuna gasped in delight as Tomoe whistled beside her. Seno poked around the corner and grinned.  
  
"You look beautiful, Mamori-neechan."  
  
"Thanks, you guys. I left the meat out, so make sure you cook it before it gets bad. We should have enough thawed in case the boys come over for dinner again." Mamori frowned at it anxiously.  
  
"It'll be fine. We got a call from Sena-san just an hour ago and they'll be coming by for dinner, so I set out more in the sink to thaw faster." Seno pointed to the pack of meat that Mamori had missed. "Don't worry and enjoy your date."  
  
"Yeah! With that dress, You-nii won't be able to take his eyes off you!" Suzuna added with a smirk.  
  
"Make sure he covers the bill. Don't you dare go Dutch, Mamo-nee." Tomoe warned menacingly. Mamori sweated slightly.  
  
"All right, I won't. Are you sure the dress is okay? I don't want to look too dressy…"  
  
The three younger girls eyed Mamori with eyebrows high. Mamori's slender, taller than average figure was accentuated to its best advantage in a long, slinky dress of midnight blue that hugged her hips and had a slit on the left side from the hem at her calf to just past her knee. It warm enough in the early summer that she didn't need a coat to cover her shoulders, which were bared by the strapless, straight-cut neckline. Instead, she wore a shiny, black silk shawl, held in the crooks of her elbows. She had bundled her hair into a neat bun, clipped with a long, gold barrette and had left curling auburn wisps of it to float around her face and brush her shoulders. In her hand, she held the black, strappy high-heels she was going to wear.  
  
"The dress is definitely _okay_." Tomoe rolled her eyes.  
  
"If you're too dressy, whatever. People will be too busy thinking how amazing you look to care." Suzuna pointed out, making Mamori blush.  
  
"Thank you."  
  
At the door, someone knocked loudly. Mamori hurried to put on her shoes, smoothed her hands down her dress, and grabbed her purse when Seno held it out. She opened the door, smiling widely. Her first thought was of appreciation, seeing Hiruma leaning against the door, blonde hair cut into the new, shorter style he had recently adopted for his new internship, smelling faintly of musky cologne, and dressed in a charcoal grey suit with a bright red tie and gold tiepin. Her second thought was annoyance since he was leaning against the doorjamb, hands shoved in his pockets, smacking on his gum, looming over her. His fair brows rose seeing her.  
  
"The blue looks good on you." He said, making her blue eyes, darker than usual because of her dress, widen in surprise. "We're going to be fucking late. Stop staring and get moving." He pushed off the doorjamb and stepped back as Mamori frowned.  
  
"You were standing right in fron-" She broke off as Hiruma held out his hand. She glared at him suspiciously, but he only rolled his eyes in exasperation, so she took it.  
  
"HAVE FUN!" Tomoe, Seno, and Suzuna called after them.  
  
And Mamori did have fun. The restaurant Hiruma had taken her to was a classy, five-star place with entrees that made her double-take before she got the right language and no prices in sight- though that made her a little edgy. The food was superb and the desserts looked even better. If she had to say whether Hiruma was enjoying himself, she figured it was leaning towards a positive. He spent most of the night scaring their waiter witless and talking in the foreign language on the menu, even though the young man, about the same age of themselves, was most assuredly full-blooded Japanese. If the waiter had been a woman, she might've accused Hiruma of flirting. Of course… knowing Hiruma, you could never know. Ako and Sara, both avid yaoi fans, had more than once commented on his relationship with Musashi with excited fan girl squeals. Mamori giggled under her breath and took the first bite of her amazing-looking chocolate cheesecake. She promptly died in bliss. Cream puffs, especially Kariya cream puffs, would always be her favorite dessert, but chocolate cheesecake was a very close contender and a solid second place.  
  
"What are you laughing about?" Hiruma asked, leaning back in his chair, his shiny black boots on the white tablecloth, and drinking black coffee. He didn't seem to notice the dirty looks at all, though Mamori knew for a fact he did.  
  
"Oh nothing…" She took another heavenly bite. "Just thinking about your gay relationship with Musashi-kun." She sucked the last bits of cheese from her fork to keep from smiling as Hiruma choked painfully on his scalding-hot coffee.  
  
"What the _fuck_?" Hiruma sputtered. "I am not gay with Musashi- with anybody!"  
  
"How disappointing for all those yaoi fan girls. Are you sure you don't want a bite of cake?"  
  
"Hell no. Who are these damn _fan girls_ so I can send them to Hell?" Hiruma demanded. Mamori shook her head.  
  
"We were having such a lovely time. Don't ruin it by bringing out your guns and killing my friends, please."  
  
"As long as you told them that I wasn't gay…" His jade eyes narrowed on her blissful face.  
  
"Of course I did. You're my boyfriend, aren't you? Seeing as the last time I checked I was a woman, I'm quite sure you're not gay."  
  
"I don't know if that will shut them the hell up since we've never-" He broke off, frowning darkly. Mamori pinked slightly and paused. _Should I bring it up now? It's the perfect opportunity… but my cake…_ Hiruma cleared his throat. "Mamori, I wanted to say something to you tonight. It's not really just about damn graduation. I could really give a fuck about that."  
  
"Really, Youichi, could you stop cursing so much?" Mamori sighed, setting down her fork, giving it up for lost. Hopefully, it wouldn't end in an argument and she'd be able to finish the cake later.  
  
"Hell no. Listen, damn it. I have to move closer to the company I was hired for. It's close to the nursery you're going to be working for this fall, too." Hiruma told her. Mamori blinked.  
  
"Oh, that is good news. We'll still be leaving close by. You do realize that I figured that out for myself, though, right?"  
  
"Yes, damn it. Shut up."  
  
"Youichi!" Mamori snapped. She blinked suddenly, getting a good look at his face. She had never seen Hiruma blush, but there was a definite pink hue creeping up his neck from under the off-white shirt under his blazer. "Go on." She prompted. His shoulders sagged a little in relief, though his brow was still heavily furrowed.  
  
"Move in with me."  
  
Silence fell between them.  
  
"I beg your pardon?" Mamori said nonplussed.  
  
"Move. In. With. Me. Don't make me fucking repeat it again." His jade eyes bored into her startled blue.  
  
"Why?"  
  
"Shit, now I have to explain myself? Just give me a yes or no, damn it!" Hiruma snapped angrily. Mamori quickly suppressed a giggle and waited patiently. She was very good with patience. When she reached for her fork, he caved. "It's more convenient. It's more efficient. Because I fucking want you to live with me. Is that good enough?"  
  
"We're not married." She pointed out.  
  
"It's the twenty-first fucking century. Who gives a damn? If anyone does, I'll shoot them." He growled under his breath. He let his chair and legs drop to the ground. "Yes or no, Mamori."  
  
"Youichi… we haven't even… How can two people, obviously dating, in perfect health, live together, unmarried, when we haven't even… are you sure you're comfortable with the idea if I don't want to go _all the way_ before I'm married?"  
  
"Did I say anything about damn sex? No. It's in my apartment, not my bed. If you want fucking _parameters_ we'll discuss it when we find a suitable living space." He spat, rolling his eyes.  
  
Mamori closed her eyes and breathed deeply. "I don't think I'm ready to move in with you."  
  
"So a no." Mamori pretended not to hear the hurt in his voice, mostly because he would deny it anyway, but also to keep from wavering in her decision.  
  
"This has everything to do with why we haven't… you know. Youichi, I love you. More than anything. I want to move in with you. I can't, though, for the same reasons I haven't slept with you." She opened her eyes and met his square on. "I'm scared."  
  
Again silence fell, this time, _his_ eyes were wide and startled before they narrowed. "The fuck?"  
  
"I'm scared… that you'll never tell me you love me."  
  
"This again. Damn it, Mamori, can't you just-"  
  
"No." She cut him off angrily. "I can't just _anything_. I already told you I wouldn't wait for you. But I have been. I haven't pushed. But, _damn it_ , I'm going to. You can't expect me to move in with you when you can't honestly state your feelings for me." Her anger faded as easily as it had appeared, her shoulders slumping. "I'm scared that I'll always wonder and never know. That your fear of commitment, even with words, will break us. Youichi, the longer you hold back from me, the more I can't… I can't believe in us." She picked up her fork and twisted it between her fingers. "Mitcchi-chan, actually, was the one who discussed it with me. I don't want us to break up like they did because I couldn't be honest with you."  
  
"Do you think I would be with you if I wasn't going to commit my life to yours?" Hiruma replied softly. Mamori glanced up, astonished, not only at the lack of vulgarity, but the words themselves. He was staring at her intently, anger heating his jade eyes almost to black. "I don't half-ass any part of my life, if you haven't fucking noticed." _Ah, the cursing is back again._ "And you're a major part of it. Do you think it was fucking easy to ask you to move in with me? Do you think it was a fucking whim?"  
  
Mamori set her fork back down, staring at the pattern engraved in the stem. "No. I don't think that. I spent hours thinking about us last night. Thinking hard about our relationship and what exactly I'm expecting. I realized that Mitcchi-chan was right about one more thing. I expected you to let down your barriers and let me see a part of you no one has seen, but I wasn't returning the favor. I decided that I shouldn't be waiting for your first step and holding back my own. Why can't I be the one to lead, to show you that you don't have to have walls between us? I'm willing to believe in us because I _want_ our relationship to last. I want to give and give because I realized that I do, in my heart of hearts, believe in you. I don't think I'm ready, I don't either of us are ready, for moving in together just yet, but… I think I'm ready for the next step in our relationship."  
  
Hiruma looked slapped. Mamori sighed and picked up her fork again.  
  
"Well, I didn't think I'd need to spell it out for you. I meant I'm ready to be with you intimately. I don't expect it to happen any time soon, of course. We're both going to be busy this week, so-"  
  
"Drop the fork."  
  
"Excuse me?" Mamori glared up at Hiruma, the next piece of cake halfway to her mouth. She flushed brightly seeing the all-too familiar, heated look in his eyes. She felt her knees go weak and thanked her lucky stars she was already sitting.  
  
"You don't honestly expect me to fucking sit here and watch you eat damn _cake_ after you said that? We're leaving, now." Hiruma got to his feet and reached out to grab her wrist as he passed.  
  
"But… my cake…" Mamori protested weakly.  
  
"I'll buy you a whole damn cake for breakfast." He slapped an exorbitant amount of money on the concierge's podium. "That should cover the bill and tip."  
  
"Wait, sir, this is too much!" The concierge cried out, pasty-faced in shock.  
  
"I don't give a damn. Keep it."  
  
"Youichi!" Mamori exclaimed breathlessly, somewhere between astonishment and amusement. He pulled to a stop right outside the door, spun her around so quickly she lost her balance, and hauled her up against him.  
  
"You realize I've been _exceedingly_ patient with this modesty of yours for more than a year and that I've been wanting you in my bed since our second year of high school, don't you?" He all but snarled at her. Mamori felt a tingle of awareness shiver down her spine. His hands felt feverishly hot on her skin.  
  
"No." She breathed out. "Have you?"  
  
"Damn it to hell, woman. Just the smell of you makes me insane. You're going to get in that cab and come to my apartment with me _tonight_ and you're not leaving until I damn well feel like it."  
  
"You can't possibly intend to lock me in your apartment all night! I don't even think you could last that long anyway! Don't you have to… rest or something?" Mamori hissed under her breath, blushing furiously when she noticed the doormen staring at them from the corner of her eye.  
  
"Is that a fucking challenge?" Hiruma questioned, one eyebrow rising as he grinned his devil's grin.  
  
She hadn't told anyone, but that evil smirk of his was completely irresistible. She opened her mouth to form some other half-hearted protest, but he effectively silenced her by placing his lips over hers. She instantly melted. He hadn't kissed her like this since that first time in the locker rooms when she had been dating Shin. Desperation had motivated him then, desperate, aching hunger that seeing her with another man had evoked. Not to mention that coffee shampoo that drove him crazy. This entire year, while he definitely had gotten them both hot and bothered on multiple occasions, he'd been holding himself back. She hadn't been ready to poke at his control before, but since she was already on the highway to hell, why not?  
  
She wanted more of his crazy. More of this hunger that felt like fire in her blood.  
  
She pressed herself closer, fingers clutching the lapels of his coat, sliding up against him against until even their hips were fitted together. With a quiet gasp, she broke the kiss and bit lightly on his bottom lip, savoring the taste and feel of his skin. His fingers were clutching her biceps so tightly, she vaguely wondered if she would have bruises the exactly shape and size of Hiruma's hands. She was suddenly pushed away, making her wobble and blink owlishly in confusion. Hiruma reached down to grab one of her hands and pull her towards the waiting cab.  
  
Remembering their very public situation, Mamori blushed tomato-red and ducked quickly into the cab. A few seconds later, Hiruma slid in beside her, holding her shawl and purse, which she had forgotten about completely. The concierge must have followed them.  
  
"I can never come back here again." Mamori whispered, mortified. Hiruma cackled loudly, making her face heat even more. She made sure to keep the entire middle seat between them, but the cab felt much too small. Her skin prickled with the awareness of his gaze on her. She almost jumped out the cab when they finally reached his apartment building.  
  
"You're pretty eager for someone who was so fucking _prudish_ just yesterday." Hiruma mocked as he sauntered up behind her.  
  
"I am- wasn't- I have never been a prude!" Mamori protested heatedly. Hiruma looked over at her. His eyes darkened seeing her hair falling out of her careful bun and her dark, kissed-bruised lips. She took a step back, pressing her fist to her chest. "Do you have to look at me like that? It's unnerving!" She muttered fiercely.  
  
"Heh." He shrugged. "Get used to it." With that, he placed one hand behind her shoulders and suddenly swept her feet out from under her.  
  
"AIYA! Y-Youichi, put me down!" Mamori shrieked as he kicked open the door.  
  
"Kekekekeke! Like hell, this is much faster."  
  
They really did make up the stairs in record time, though she wasn't going to admit it. Once again, he kicked open the door, barely giving her enough time to unlock it with the spare key he'd given her months ago. She was on her feet before the door finishing slamming shut behind them. His hands were on her hips, pelvis pressing into hers, making her gasp, and his lips feasting eagerly on her skin before she could even blink. His hips rocked forward again, stars bursting behind her eyes, when she felt the fine tremor working its ways down his arms. Teeth bit sharply down on her throat, soothed by his tongue lapping over her skin. Slowly, she ran her hands up his chest beneath his blazer, feeling that trembling throughout his body. His hands ran up and down her ribs, higher, then lower, then even higher, brushing the underside of her breasts. She arched beneath him, mimicking the thrusting motion he had done before. A shudder worked its way down her spine as she felt his growl against her damp flesh.  
  
"Y-Youichi… the b-bedroom… w-we're n-not there y-yet…" She stammered when his hands fisted bunches of fabric, dragging her skirt up over her hips.  
  
"Damn it…" He snarled, pulling himself away as if it were painful. It probably was, because it was pretty painful for her. Like being slapped in the face by a rush of cold air. She reached forward, framing his face in her hands, and brought his mouth to hers.  
  
"You're too far away." She murmured, brushing her lips over his. She squeaked softly as her feet left the floor, then he was kissing her again, his tongue tracing her bottom lip before plundering her mouth. Moaning softly, her fingers tangled in his coarse hair as their tongues danced. She could kind of feel him moving down the hall, his hands pulling her legs up to wrap around his waist as he walked painstakingly slow towards the bedroom. "Walk faster." She demanded, her lips trailing over his cheekbone, kissing the lobe of his ear.  
  
"It's a little difficult when you're doing that…" Hiruma snapped. He stopped dead, his fingers digging into her thighs when she bit down on the tip of his ear and trailed her tongue down.  
  
"Mm-hm. Excuses…" She taunted, kissing behind his ear and biting down on the muscle just a little lower. She felt him shake. A rush of wet heat surged low in her belly.  
  
"Next time, you do the fucking carrying!" Hiruma retorted, trying to force his legs to move. He just wanted to make sure they wouldn't collapse under him if he did manage to make them move. She was putting his "devil" title to shame, and her "angel" one was going up in flames. She sucked his skin into her mouth, making him groan.  
  
"Are we there yet?" She asked, pulling away to look around them. "Oof! Hey!" She squawked when she was abruptly thrown over his shoulder, his hand on her butt.  
  
A few, long, rapid strides later, he pushed open his bedroom door and tossed her on the western style bed. She bounced once, her gold barrette flying off and cascades of auburn hair falling around her shoulders. Hiruma took a second to shed his blazer and tie, tossing them onto the floor. With trembling fingers, Mamori reached down to unstrap her heels. Hiruma had both his off by the time her first fell with a thud to the floor. He knelt on the floor and unstrapped the second, letting his hands smooth over her skin, marred by faint lines left by the shoes. Her eyes widened as he pressed his lips to her ankle, slowly making his way up her calf, lingering on the back of her knee, nibbling the soft skin of her inner thigh. His hands pushed her skirt up higher, baring the midnight blue panties beneath. He hooked his fingers around the sides of her underwear, his dark jade gaze flicking up to meet hers in a silent question. She swallowed audibly, but raised her hips enough so he could slide the garment of lace and silk down over her knees and to the floor. She started to scramble back so he join her on the bed, but he held her place by gripping her knees in his hands.  
  
"Wh-what are you doing?" Mamori stammered uncertainly.  
  
"Just wait a fucking second."  
  
"Could you please refrain from-OH!" Her body tensed as he ran his finger over the heat of her. She didn't realize how damp she'd become until his finger slipped easily to the core of her, making her shudder. They'd never gotten to third base before…  
  
His thumb pressed against her clitoris gently. Biting down on her hand, she stifled the scream that action had caused. He pushed her legs wider apart with his shoulders and she let him, wondering why he needed to get closer. Her eyes widened. Quickly, her free hand grasped his hair and tugged, trying to push him away. Sure, she'd read about this and, because she'd been curious about it, she had even seen it in a pornographic film she had found online. However, seeing it on her computer screen and seeing it happen to _her_ were two very different things. He obviously ignored her and her pushing. His hand opened her wide and his tongue was on her, lapping at her in one, long, hot lick. She collapsed backwards on the bed, both her hands covering her mouth, pushing the sounds back into her mouth as they tried to escape. She didn't know she could even make sounds like that. She arched up involuntarily towards his mouth, almost sobbing as he sucked her into his mouth, like he did to her neck. She wanted to scream and thrash and hold perfectly still, and somehow managed to do a little of all three as he dipped his tongue deep into her, pulling back to run his tongue over the bundle of nerves he'd fingered. Something shattered in the back her mind, heat pooling and flooding out of her belly until she was boneless and numb and blind. When she blinked her sight back, he was leaning over her, his shirt gone.  
  
She reached for him and pulled him down, not caring that she could faintly taste herself on his mouth. She wrapped her legs around his waist, rubbing up against the bulge in his pants. She wanted that shattering feeling _again_. And she wanted him to shatter, too. She wanted to watch him go blind and she wanted to take him higher than he'd ever been. Her hands scrabbled down his chest and stomach, humming into his mouth the pleasure of feeling his muscles twitch and tense beneath her wandering fingers. Finding the button of his pants, it took a few moments to free him and she had to use her heels to push his pants, along with his boxers, down to the floor. She felt him chuckle breathlessly against her mouth, causing her to smile in return. He stood up slightly to kick the pants off the rest of the way and she quickly took the opportunity to scramble back towards the pillows and pull her dress up over her head. She reached back to unfasten her strapless bra, frowning in concentration. It was so much harder to do when her fingers still felt rather numb and shaky. She grinned in triumph feeling it loosen. She tossed it over the side of the bed after her dress and looked up to see Hiruma smirking down at her. She crossed her arms over her chest.  
  
"Don't stand there staring!" Mamori exclaimed.  
  
"I like looking at you. Don't rush me." Hiruma's voice laughed as his eyes traced her outline in the dark, only lighted by the streetlamp filtering through the blinds.  
  
"Come. Here." Mamori motioned with her hand, keeping one arm covering her chest.  
  
"If you insist." He shrugged and did as she bid. Soon, she lay beneath him, blushing lightly, one arm still over her chest. "Any other damn orders you'd like to give, Ma.Mo.Ri?"  
  
"Kiss me again." She whispered. He leaned down, brushing his lips against hers softly. "No… really kiss me." She repeated breathlessly. She moaned softly as he obliged, his weight falling down on her, long slender body fitted with hers like a puzzle piece. She could feel his erection against her thigh, smoother than she had thought and hotter.  
  
He could feel her tense beneath him, so he deepened the kiss, his hands running over her chest. She stretched and arched like a stroked cat, her arms wrapped around his neck. His mouth left hers, traveling down her throat, over her collarbone, and took her breast in his mouth while his hand kneaded the other. She writhed beneath him, loving the mixture of almost painful pressure and soft, delicate teasing on her skin and nipple. He ran his hand down her belly, tracing the bone of her hip, before touching the dampness of her again. He drove his fingers inside, making her gasp and then shriek. She bit down on his shoulder, fingers digging into the muscles of his back, trying desperately to muffle her almost-screams. She rode higher and higher, tears filming her lashes until she could feel her world began to shatter. She didn't realize she was stuttering Hiruma's name against his skin until she heard him answer.  
  
"Yes, now."  
  
Her eyes widened as his fingers pulled away and something definitely bigger pushed in. Pain lanced throughout her lower body, catching her by surprise. Her body shuddered hard, and she could feel herself adjusting to fit him even as she wanted to pull away. His fingers dug into her hips and harsh, ragged breath met her ears. That harsh, almost painful gasping was probably the sexiest thing she'd ever heard from him. She looked up. In the barely lit shadows, his brows were contracted, his mouth tightly held, though his dark eyes were on her tear-streaked face.  
  
"D-Does it… st-still hurt…" He managed to force out. She blinked.  
  
"A little. It's not so bad now." She whispered. She wondered if it would hurt to move and moved her hips up. Both gasped at the feeling up him sliding in even deeper.  
  
"D-Don't fucking move."  
  
"But…" She shifted again, her knees bending so she could cradled his hips. Her eyes widened. "That feels _amazing_."  
  
He groaned softly, his forehead dropping on her shoulder. She could feel the length of him pulsing, growing even more, filling her. Completing her like she'd never imagined.  
 _  
_" _Move, Youichi, please._ " She begged, following her own instincts.  
  
Then, his hands shifted on her hips, pulling her up higher, and he was thrusting into her, again and again. The shattering that had hovered at the back of her mind was suddenly back. She could feel the numbness creep up her legs and arms, her bones liquefying in heat. Movement was natural and slick. His mouth was damp and open and sloppy on hers, wild in a way he'd never been. Against his mouth, she was begging for something she didn't understand, pleading for more as she felt it coming. It crashed even harder than the first time, her body shaking, her spine arching to take him as deep as he could go. Something hot and thick flooded her as they both collapsed, breathless, gasping, and sweaty.  
  
His lips moved against her skin, mumbling words that made something warm and shiny fill her heart. It was perfect. Some said that in this situation, the words would mean less, that the act would make the words cheap. They were stupid. Here, when there were no barriers, with their bodies connected so that she found it hard to believe they had once been separate, the words were special.  
  
Mamori turned her head and kissed his temple softly.  
  
"I love you, too, Youichi."  
  
Hiruma woke up the next morning, blinking blearily into the early morning sun. He looked down feeling a hot weight on his chest and something feathery tickling his chin and stomach, which was pretty odd since the chin and stomach were pretty damn far apart. He bared his pointed canines in a very smug grin. Mamori was draped over him, one leg over both of his, her head on his chest, one arm wrapped around his waist, and her hair a giant auburn tangle that was _everywhere_. It was the sexiest, most satisfying sight he'd ever woken up to. Only coffee would've made this better… maybe. He watched her sleep for a few moments, memorizing the shape of her lips, her nose, her cheekbones, the shadow cast by her lashes. Then, he realized she was on top of one of his arms, his _right arm_ to be precise, and he couldn't feel it anymore. Judging by the darts of pain, it had been bloodless for a while now. Slowly, carefully, he slid out from under her. She protested sleepily, her brows furrowing lightly as her hand searched for him in her sleep. It took all his considerable willpower to back up and not wake her and take her again… for the… what, fourth time? No, fifth. She would _not_ be comfortable when she woke up, that's for sure.  
  
He might as well go find a way to appease her before she woke up and ripped him a new one. They just started having sex and there was no way in hell he was gonna mess that up after the first night.  
  
Mamori woke up a while later, smelling coffee. She slowly pushed herself up on her hands, wincing at the ache between her legs. Why did it hurt so much _now_? She glanced over to the bedroom door when she heard footsteps. Hiruma, wearing tight jeans and his favorite skull and cross bones T-shirt, ducked through the door, caught sight of her sleep-tousled hair and sleep-flushed face, and wanted to throw both the box and tray of coffee in his hands to ground and ravish her again. It was only the tiny wince she made as she sat up further that stopped him.  
  
"Please tell me that coffee is loaded with sugar and milk." Mamori said in a husky, sleepy voice. Waking up to that voice every morning was _not_ going to be a challenge.  
  
"Yours is." Hiruma answered and sat on the edge of the bed. "I brought you breakfast, as promised." He dropped the box on her lap.  
  
Mamori frowned in confusion and opened the box. She burst out laughing seeing the chocolate cheesecake inside. "Youichi, really? I can't have cake for breakfast!"  
  
"Well, don't say I didn't keep my fucking promise." Hiruma shrugged, handing her her coffee. He sipped his own, sighing in relief. Damn, coffee was _good_.  
  
"Well, I'll go make us some real breakfast." Mamori replied. "I'll save the cake for later and share it with the girls at home." She leaned over and kissed Hiruma's cheek, a very sweet gesture she normally only managed to get away with on the sly. He grumbled under his breath, but didn't pull away or curse at her. "Do you have a robe?"  
  
"Just walk around fucking naked. I'll enjoy it." He leered at her over his coffee. She sneered back.  
  
"No, thank you. Hand me that shirt on the floor, please." He rolled his eyes, but reached down to toss her the button-up shirt he'd thrown on the ground. She pulled over her head, juggling the coffee, and then got to her feet. She hissed under her breath, a little unsteady, as the ache became a quick, sharp pain.  
  
"Maybe you should just rest a while longer before moving." Hiruma suggested, trying not to sound anxious, as he grabbed her elbow. "Taking a shower should help, right?"  
  
"Oh, I'm fine. It's already gone now. I'll be careful not to move too suddenly. A shower sounds great, though. _After_ breakfast. I'm _starving_."  
  
"Hn." His jade eyes watched her closely as she shuffled from the room. He followed her leisurely, deciding that it didn't do any harm to enjoy the way she looked with most her legs bare and wearing one of his shirts. He pictured her in his amefuto jersey and grinned.  
  
When she bent over to investigate his refrigerator, his eyes almost crossed.  
  
"Youichi!" Mamori voice snapped, scandalized. Thinking he'd been found out, he opened his mouth to retort something vulgar and insulting, then he realized she was still headfirst in his fridge. "There's nothing in here but marmalade, a couple eggs, and a pack of seaweed!"  
  
"There's bread somewhere else in here. I don't fucking cook."  
  
"Well, obviously!" She huffed. She stood up and glared at him as she slammed the door shut, holding the almost empty carton of eggs. "The first thing we're doing is going grocery shopping. I can't move in with you if we don't have anything to eat!" She set the eggs down, grumbling, and reached over her head for the pans in the cabinet. She didn't even notice his jaw somewhere near his ankles.  
  
"You're… You're moving in? You said you weren't fucking ready!" Hiruma reminded her, heart pounding _hard_.  
  
"Well, after last night…" She blushed and reached a little farther for the frying pan. "All my reasons for 'no' were swept out the door. About four times, actually. Though, you did only say _it_ once, I won't press for a repeat for another month or so."  
  
Seeing her butt almost bare, the long, slim lines of her exposed, and realizing he'd be having her in his house _every day_ made the control snap. Fuck the soreness. If he did it right, she wouldn't even notice. Besides, taking her in the shower would be interesting challenge.  
  
He crossed the room just as she grabbed ahold of the right frying pan. (Not that there were many to choose from.) She shrieked in surprise as he hauled her up, threw her over his shoulder again, and headed for the bathroom.  
  
"Youichi, wait! Breakfast! And I'm filthy! And you can't, not _again_!" She protested, even though laughter began to bubble up out of her.  
  
"Oh, yes the hell we can. Showers are good for more than just cleaning."  
  
"WHERE?"  
  
  



End file.
